Tear me in two
by DestinysWinterRose
Summary: Renesmee is losing the bonds that tie her to her family and learning fast about the reality of life,but is it fast enough?There is a looming threat over the Cullen's and the wolves unlike anyother.Will Renesmee use her head or her heart?
1. Intro: Can I cope Knowing her loved her?

_Welcome. My first fanfic so I hope you enjoy. The first chapter is a bit of a filler to indicate how I see Renesmee. The best stuff coming up!_

**Rated T – just for references to nudity, minor violence and limited profanity. This changes to an M rating after 'Divided and conquer' due to sexual content, aka, sexy time!**

**Disclaimer – Twilight does not belong to me, credit to Stephanie Meyer. **

**TEARING ME IN TWO**

**Introduction: Tearing apart.**

I've never given much thought about love; I've always been surrounded by it. Like it comes naturally and it's always going to be that way. But something tells me that love is never going to be that easy, it won't just fall into my lap like raindrops race to a river. Because from reading book after book, all I can see is that people get in the way, regardless of how intense, passionate or right your love is for someone. This is my story.

My name is Renesmee, weird I know! It's a mix of my grandmother's names, Renée and Esme. I'm 17 now, well round-a-bouts, technically I'm only four and three quarters. I'm unusual, not like any of my mortal or immortal family members. I'm unique. I have grown faster a normal human, emotionally and physically. My mother lost her human life to love me, and I will never forget what she has done for me but ... things have changed recently. The close bond between myself and my vampire family is weakening by the moment, I have a constant feeling of dread, like something is going to happen but I can't tell when, why or where.

Bella and Edward are my parents, protective parents, and protective of _my_ heart. Unlike theirs it beats, blood runs through me, I laugh, cry, and feel as any human would. But my skin is hard, unbreakable with a soft glisten in the sunlight. I live on the blood of animals, like they do, that part of me is vampire. I think I'm in love, though I'm not sure and I've never told him. He has always been here, you know, just around! He does anything for me, like I was his gravitational pull or something, holding him here. He told me it's to do with imprinting. We spend so much time together its unreal! But the more time I spend with him the more I feel the burn of their eyes on my back, watching me, ready to pounce, getting into my head, controlling my moods to suit them, seeing every plan I make. Hatred whirling and rising from somewhere deep inside their core. It didn't take me long to know why. Jacob.

There is a growing tension between myself and my father in particular. He loathes Jacob and I know it. But I'm starting to loath _him_, I'm not sure if I want that or not, trying to hang on to him as my loving father. But when I think of him and the way he treats Jacob, I, I struggle to remember him as anyone other than just _Edward_. The history with my Mother is still poignant in his mind, nibbling away bit by bit every day. So, you can imagine after a few years of Jacob trying to steal my mother from him that he's certainly going to be pissed when I'm, his daughter, next on Jacob's list! And Edward hates it, hates that I have feelings for Jacob too, that I love to be with him, feel his warm touch on my arm or my face, I love to touch his cheek and show him the most fabulous parts of my day. I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to do now? Try and re-build those bridges between my father and mother, or continue with my life and hope things resolve themselves. The thing is I can't see it getting better with them. All I can only see Jacob. His tall, tanned perfectly defined features, the softness in his eyes when he looks at me. His deep, but silky laugh designed to make a woman feel week. I need to decide if I love him, love him enough to ... leave. Or like my mother before me I could break his heart.

**Chapter 1: Can I cope knowing he loved her?**

"_Well that was embarrassing, think I'd like to die now..!"_

Today was beautiful. It's not often we get sun in Forks, so I'm going to make the most of this! The sun was shining, light dancing from all different angles spearing through the trees and spilling onto the mossy ground beneath me. I could have just kept running! Feeling the earth between my toes, Bella always wants me to wear shoes, scared I'd cut my feet or something, I swear she forgets that my skin is as hard as marble too. I felt like I was dancing, not running as I darted between the rays of sunshine, my silky white dress trailing behind me desperately trying to catch me up. Impractically dressed as always thanks to Alice, forever with the fashion tips and adjustments, wonder if she'll ever let me dress myself? Not likely as she never allows that for Bella. Though I've got to admit . . . I do look good today! Not that I'll ever tell her that. Risk of her head exploding and all! WAIT! Something suddenly caught my attention. I froze in position. Waiting. Searching for that scent.

Human.

The burning began in the back of my throat. My eyes began darting from left to right. Desire, trying to force me to lose myself in a frenzy. What should I do? Run? Stay? HUNT? No, no, no damn it! I can't do that, I have to control myself better than this. I closed my eyes and thought of him. Saw his silky black hair, his gleaming eyes, and those muscles, oh yes, those muscles! I remembered what Bella had told me, just hold my breath for a while and concentrate. An eternity passed before I realised that I'd lost the scent. The human must have been far off. Phew, no need to panic then. I suddenly became aware of how still I was, I must look daft right now. I smiled to myself in amusement and sighed a sigh of relief. I threw my head back and marvelled at the patterns the trees made on their way up to the sky, and that was that. I was back to my happy place. I wasn't far from the river now, not entirely sure why I felt the need to circle the entirety of Forks in order to get to the river that was almost at the end of our garden. But never mind! No one was around today, it was almost silent, well it would be to human ears. I however, am able to hear absolutely everything, when my human emotions don't get in the way! How inviting the water looked when I bounded up to the river bed. So clear, resembling the most precious of crystals, almost something out of a movie. Sometimes my human emotions get the better of me. Glancing around me I realised that I _was_ completely alone. No one would know. I grinned a childish, yet mischievous grin and slipped out of the silky dress and watched it reach for the floor. I pursed my lips together, wrinkled my nose and felt my eyes do the smiling for me. Yeah why not! I slid into the water letting it engulf me in its splendour. Not that I was accustomed to skinny dipping on a regular basis during the day, but something overcame me today. Another human thing maybe? I guess I'm just content, I mean who wouldn't be if they tried out my shoes for a day or two? Feeling the rocks below my feet I lay back and let my hair twist with the patterns of the water. I watched the few clouds in the sky play and make images for my entertainment. Pretty sure that one was a deer, that or I was getting a little peckish. Maybe I should hunt; I haven't hunted in almost two weeks. There's always so much more to be doing and seeing than hunting with the family, to be honest I haven't got the patience for their competitiveness in this regard! But, I guess I can't survive any other way! Right, ok, I'd better get back to the house and see if Edward or Bella would accompany me.

"Renesmee?"

Holy crap! What the. . ? I span around to see him stood there. Jacob, if I wasn't so surprised I would have smiled, hugged and kissed him. Instantly it dawned on me that I might very possibly be totally naked right now. Oh dear. This could not be good.

"Err, Jake! Hey! Um, hi, I ... well ... Err" Words, words would be great right now! If only I could spit them out coherently. I grinned awkwardly as I desperately tried to cover myself with my hands. Two hands are clearly not enough for these situations. As advanced as I am, still I cannot seem to produce other bodily parts as and when required. I coughed to clear my throat, preparing to speak and then he cut me off. "I..."

"Okay. So, this is embarrassing! Not that I'm complaining", he flashed me that adorable smile that forced me melt.

"Jacob Black! Are you checking me out?" I laughed, _much_ louder than I thought I was going too. Oops! Typically, he just giggled at me.

"Ok, nothing funny, I just wanted a quick swim it's such a, are you naked?" Astonished that it had taken me this long to realise that Jacob was standing against a tree, stark bleeding naked, I gawped in surprise. Again he laughed, keeping his hands in a protective position around his manhood and looked sheepishly at his toes.

"Yeah, looks like it." He glanced up at me and clearly noticed the unimpressed yet taunting look on my face, "Oh, no Ness I wasn't, you know, coming to join you, ha-ha! I was checking out the area, I'm on patrol. Just phased when I saw you now, didn't wanna startle you an all. I've left my clothes somewhere." Hummm, 'excuses excuses' I thought.

Before I had a chance to even say 'boo' Jacob flew to the ground with a thud.

"DAD! NO!" I screamed as I realised that Edward had launched himself at Jacob and was holding him by the neck, pretty sure he was thinking of killing him.

"I'll kill you Jacob!" He spat through his teeth almost in a scream. Yep, that'll confirm it. Not entirely sure if I should get between them, I hovered over the brawling pair.

"Edward GET OFF ME", Jacob warned Edward almost erupting into a growl. Edward was suddenly launched into the air and landed gracefully against a tree as if no force at all was used against him, at the same moment Jacob ran at him, leaping into the air and phasing into that humongous, but kind of cute looking wolf. OK, not the time to be thinking _how cute_ he was.

"Renesmee, get out of here now," Edward hisses in my direction. They clashed mid air with an almighty smash and tumbled to the ground.

"Jacob please just listen to me!" I begged him as he circled Edward defensively, snarling.

"He doesn't understand what happened, you read his mind right Dad? Well, what he was thinking and the reality of the situation are two very different things. Please listen to me!" I couldn't spit the words out quick enough. Naturally they both totally ignored me, I realised that this could very easily turn into a blood bath and I certainly didn't want to lose either of them.

"PLEASE STOP! You can't hurt each other without hurting me!" I begged them to be reasonable and understand, it might have been selfish but I couldn't take the hostility any longer. In that instant, they both stopped, dead. They just glared at me. NO, it wasn't a glare, it was shock, astonishment. Why were they looking at me like that?

"What?" I didn't understand what I could possibly have done to warrant such looks "What did I do? Jacob?" No answer so I turned my attention to Edward, "Dad?" I searched his eyes for something, anything to guide me in my wrong doing. Oh God, ground open now and swallow me please! They both dropped their defensive stances and broke their gaze from me to look at each other.

"I know" Edward said after a few seconds of silence. I burned up, erupting fury...


	2. I am my own

**Chapter 2: I am my own.**

I was trying so hard to control the fury, burning through me. I bit my lip, ouch!

"Jacob what did you tell him, I know you did so don't deny it. WHAT IS GOING ON?" Edward walked over to me, no longer cautious of his proximity to Jacob and without looking at me handed me the little silk dress that I had thrown onto the floor earlier. "Dress yourself Renesmee." He walked away from me. I had completely forgotten that I wasn't wearing anything. I hurried to put the dress back over my head. "I'm sorry! For whatever I've done I'm truly sorry but don't you both give me this silent treatment, its worse, far worse than anything." Jacob let out a low growl towards me, not aggressive, but to let me know that he disagreed. "Jacob phase back, I want to talk to you both."

He hesitated, looking warily at Edward. "It's fine Jacob, I won't kill you in front of _my _daughter." He hissed through gritted teeth. Again with the possession thing. I'm not a freaking object to be owned. Not by either of them! Edward slid out of his jacket and threw it to the ground by Jacobs paw. "Don't want you getting cold now would we?" I sensed the sarcastic hatred in my father's tone but ignored it. Jacob phased back to his human form. And wrapped the coat around his lower half, grinning at Edward, taunting him. "Jacob," I warned.

"Dirty bloodsucker, this thing stinks." Jacob sniped at Edward. Ouch, that one hurt a little. Realising what he had said he turned to me with an apologetic look. "Not you Nessie, you know I don't think that of you. You're my everything..."

"Can it Jacob before I lose all self control and go for your throat!" Edward forced the words through his bared teeth.

"Dad please! Stop this, tell me what that was all about. What exactly did I do?" I waited, watching their expressions change. There was a small amount of pain in both their eyes.

Finally Edward spoke.

"Renesmee, you know that the past is the past. But what you said just then it, it was something that stirred a memory for both myself and Jacob. Of a time when the lines were not so clear between simply friendship and something more than that." He paused to glare at Jacob, which gave me a moment to think what exactly I had said. Jacob sighed, lost in the past by the look on his face. "Your mother said that to myself and Jacob, Renesmee, when Jacob discovered that your mother was going to become one of us, end her mortal life to be with me and not him. That she loved me and not him." Whoa! Too much information I think there. The reality of this stabbed me in the chest and I could feel myself falling. Jacob snapped out of his tantric state and caught me a second before I crashed to the floor. _"My mother said that to you? _ Because she wouldn't love _you_? Oh man that's beyond ... creepy. I don't know what to say!" I stuttered over what I wanted to say and what I should say. I looked up into Jacob's amazing eyes, he was analysing me and my reaction. His thick brow furrowed into a frown, "Ness, it's history. I don't feel like that for your moth... Bella any more, not since the first time I saw you. I was never meant to be with her, I know that now because I know you. Don't find it weird, it's just one of those things."

Before I knew it I was standing again, free of his grasp. "One of those things? No Jacob, it's not just one of those things. How many daughters can ask their mother what it's like to lock lips with the guy they're with? Was he good mummy, huh?" Jacob winced at that but I continued anyway in a state of confusion and shock, defending myself unnecessarily. "What was it like when he held you? I know it's great for me!" I became aware of Edward standing by the tree furthest from us, listening intently, wanting to say something but not being able to interrupt us arguing. This was what he wanted, me and Jacob apart! Well congratulations, looks like we were well on our way. Anger boiled up through my body, swallowing me, drowning me. I love Jacob, I've never told him that, but then we are meant to be, force of nature and all that. Love out of hate, enemy to lover, Romeo to Juliet, Heathcliff to Cathy. After all, _he _had imprinted on me. I've always known about them, the history there. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Edward they had all told me, warned me that this was not a good idea. But I could help it, couldn't help myself and certainly couldn't fight the strings that pulled me to him. When I was away from him I missed him, when I saw him I would smile, when he touched me there were sparks. HE WAS MY JACOB.

The point was not that he had lusted for my mother, she was beautiful, but that he had _loved _her. I know that the feelings were not there for her anymore, he had reassured me of that constantly when I was 'old' enough to be told about imprinting and that Jacob loved me, not in a protective way anymore, but a love that was uncontrollable and real. Where I was free to love him, despite the endless attempts from my family to prevent it, like Bella and Edward, I just had to be with him.

"Renesmee?" Jacob looked into my eyes, concern roaming over his features. His arms wrapped tightly around my waist to pull me close, "I love you."

"Enough Jacob, I'm still here and she is still my daughter." Edward looked ready to pounce, to kill. He had accepted that we would be together, that that was beyond our control, but that didn't mean he had to like it. And believe me, he didn't. Neither did Bella.

"Dad, leave it. This is between us, not you. Pease just leave us for a moment." I tried to sugar coat that fact that I didn't want him near us right now, but I knew he would read my true thoughts. Get lost! Back the hell off you overprotective freak!

Fury began to stir in Edwards eyes. "Don't forget why I'm here Renesmee. How dare you be here! Out in the open, with..." He struggled with the images of me and Jacob and no clothing. "Don't think I'm leaving this, you are my daughter, and he's ... a mutt."

"Change the record _daddy_," Jacob taunted him further. I nudged him in the abdomen, with little effect. But he got the point and released his arms from around my waist and stepped back.

"I'm not leaving her Edward." He said no longer angry, but he was quiet, soulful, and I knew in that instant he meant it. I was his and he was not letting go this time, not going to lose this game again. I saw Edwards eyes darken, his teeth bare from behind his lips.

"If you touched her Jacob, I will not hesitate to destroy you." He was burning fury and I could see it. Thinking unwillingly of the images of Jacob and I together, as one. Jacob was loving this, smirking an evil smile, designed to get beneath the marble skin of my father. His thoughts obviously driving Edward crazy. Not allowing him to see the truth, what really happened and Edward was not focusing on my mind, not listening to me. I looked at Jacob, _my Jacob,_ and then at my father, my overprotective father and sighed. "Listen, Dad, I know what you're thinking. I don't need to read minds to know that."

"Why were there no clothes Renesmee, why is he wearing NOTHING?" I could really do with Jasper here right now, to help control the mood swings Edward was having.

"WHAT?" I jumped in reaction to the voice behind me and saw Bella crouching behind us, eyes transfixed on Jacob. "What does he mean there was you two and no clothes?" Oh crap, here we go again.

"Dad, you knew she was there, ARGH. And you Jacob! For heaven's sake! Nothing happened, we weren't even together when the clothes were 'removed'." I tried to explain myself and it wasn't long before they all ignored me again and erupted into a shouting match.

"How dare you Jacob?"

"She loved it."

"My daughter!"

"I'll kill you!"

"Don't push me bloodsucker!"

"DOG!"

"I'd kill you if she wasn't here!"

"I'd like to see you try leech!"

Jacob was shaking again, trying hard to control his anger, not wanting to lose his temper being that close to Bella. That annoyed me a little, I know she's my mother and I love her the most in the world, but, sometimes, I just wish she'd leave us be. The first chance I had, I reached out for Edward's face, showed him the memories of the day. His face fell.

I heard a scream; Jacob lay on the ground, wincing in pain holding his arm. I'd heard the crunch. It looked like a broken wrist, thanks to Bella's consistent lunges and attacks. She had no right to do this! No right to hurt MY Jacob. I reached for her, not to show her my memories but to hurt her. I'd never ever wanted to hurt her before. I'd never dreamed that I would be lunging at my mother to attack her. "Renesmee NO!" I heard Jacob calling to me, but I couldn't detract my focus, my raw anger. Bella stood facing away from me completely still. I reached her in a split second but already she was somersaulting over the top of me. Before I knew it, my arms were being restrained behind me. Emmett and Jasper of course. Carlisle was at Jacob's side in seconds. "Let me help Jacob, it's broken, I'll need to set it quickly before it heals." Carlisle spoke as calm as ever.

"Chill, Nessie," Emmett encouraged me "Let it go." I knew he was right but I was still in the midst of fury at my mother. My breathing almost out of control, my heart thudding at my rib cage wanting to burst free. Bella was stood in front of me looking at me like I was her perfect angel again. "I love you Renesmee, I'm so sorry, I'm always hurting people. My instinct to protect you took over again." She turned to face Jacob, and in that moment Edward was at her side. Carlisle set about fixing Jacob. How did he have his equipment with him?

"Alice." Edward muttered in answer to my thoughts. Oh! Now he was listening to me!

I watched the scene unfolding before my eyes. What had I done? What had _we_ done? Something so destructive created out of something of total innocence. I looked at Jacobs face, scrunched in agony, eyes tightly shut. Should I live without those eyes ever opening to see me again? Maybe it would be better, no safer for him if ... if I just ... let him go. I felt my heart sink, tighten. Tears welled in my eyes. Maybe I could be without him, or maybe I could be without my family, after all, this was because of them.

**Hope you enjoyed reading, currently working on the next chapter!**


	3. Divided and conquer

**Credit to my Beta reader, xelectrogirlx, for her continued support and corrections to my writing. Good job as always and much appreciated!**

**Those who have read this chapter, i.e. friends, have said that this is the most exciting chapter yet, so sit back and enjoy! Please don't forget to review for me, much appreciated. **

**Chapter 3: Divided and conquer.**

"_I need you to know that I meant it, I want to be with you."_

It has been over a week since the incident by the river. No one is talking, well I mean no one is talking to me anyway. Jacob has been hanging around. I've seen his magnificent wolf pacing back and forth in the trees outside the house, waiting for me. No doubt he's wondering what I was thinking and why I haven't spoken to him all this time. It's the longest we haven't spoken in ... well I'm not entirely sure how long, maybe forever. I moved away from the huge glass window to sit on the diamond sprinkled bed in the middle of my room, a gift from Alice for my 'birthday' next week. It's certainly a stunning bed, no one else would have such a bed made for a queen. But I'm not a queen, I'm just a girl, just a vampire, just a human. Argh, who knows what I am, I'm beginning to wonder myself. All I know is that I'm pretty sure this cannot continue, we're tearing apart. Or at least I am. I so want to return to the cottage with Mum and Dad, to be close to them both again, to be able to share everything with Dad in particular. Things are not so terrible with Mum, she understands, at least I think she does. At any rate she understands better than my father, better than Rosalie. But the tension is becoming too much to bear, so intense it almost scares me. I feel like Edward is on a knife edge, ready to burst.

"Hey" I heard a sheepish voice call from the hall. It was Rosalie peeking her head around my door frame. Her beautiful features looked concerned, probably for her own wellbeing. No, that was unfair, she has been nothing but caring towards me. I shook my head, realising that she was expecting an answer from me.

I sighed, "Hey Aunt Rose. Sorry, lost in my thoughts again." I crossed my legs beneath myself and slumped my arms into my lap.

With a tiny breeze she was at my side, holding my left hand in her own perfectly crafted cold hand.

"Nessie, this has to stop. Your mum and dad told me about what happened the other week. I'm just sorry I wasn't there to help you. You know I wouldn't have let that," she winced like there was suddenly a bad smell under her nose, "thing, that dog upset you like that."

What? She thought _he_ had tried to upset me? Typical of them, twisting what had happened. They really wouldn't hesitate to sink to any level to keep Jacob away from me. I didn't respond, lost again in my own anger and building resentment.

"He is no good for you Renesmee, he may have imprinted on you but that doesn't mean that you have to be with him. I could find you a nice vamp boy if you'd like. Someone that would respect and love you the way you deserve to be, a way that anyone deserves to be." She smiled that stunning smile, and my eyes narrowed as I pulled away from her grasp. I could not believe I was hearing this, after all this time! They really weren't accepting this were they? Just making me believe they did in order to get me on their side. It was okay before, when Jake's love for me was nothing more than platonic. But now it was different and that scared them.

"How dare you say that about Jacob, that may be how you feel _Aunt Rosalie, _but it certainly is not how I feel. He is not just a dog! He is a caring, loving, sweet and very attractive human being! Yes, he imprinted on me, and no that doesn't mean that I have to return his feelings, but I want to," Do I? "Or at least I think I do." I hesitated momentarily, debating that in my head. She looked anxiously at me.

"I thought you understood! " Unaware that I was now raising my voice I continued to rant and rave at my Aunt, who sat silently studying me. I could see she was beginning to lose her cool.

"RENESMEE! I can't take this anymore! Do you have any idea what you are doing? "She had lunged at me, her face inches from mine. I was totally surprised! She had never talked to me this way before. My eyes widened in shock for a second before I wanted to hit her.

"Renesmee, don't, she's only looking out for you." It was Edward, interfering again and of all things in support of Rosalie? Well, this certainly is a turn of events.

"Get out of my head Edward." I screeched at him.

"Edward? Who do you think you are Renesmee? I am your father and I only ever try to do the best for you. Do you think of that ever? Your Aunt is right, Jacob is not good for you, like he wasn't good for your mother!" OOOH! That just about did it. Bringing Bella in to it like this, searching my head to see what would hurt me the most.

"NO, I'm not trying to hurt you, I just want you to realise that he might not be the best option for you." Carlisle, Alice and Esme appeared behind him in that second. They had undoubtedly heard the argument escalating. Bella hung behind, I could hear her footsteps on the stairs, Emmett was talking to her, following close behind. "Let it be Bells, she's just angry."

"I know, I know she loves him, I can see that even if she hasn't admitted it to herself yet. And Jake would never hurt her, but, I just don't want to lose her. You think she will stay if she decides that she does love him? I need her too!" I heard her sigh and sit on the middle step and lean against the wall.

My attention was quickly drawn back into the room. Carlisle's arm was stretched out in front of his son, either for my safety or out of habit as his method for breaking up feuds. "Edward, calm it down. This is doing no good. She's young, just remember how you felt for Bella. How you needed to be with her at all costs? See how Nessie feels now. That's how she feels for Jacob." He spoke softly, at least some one was talking sense. I may be young but that doesn't mean I don't know what I want. And at this moment in time, that was Jacob. He may have been right, but I'm fed up of them all psycho analysing me, thinking they know me best.

"She's going to go to him Edward, I've seen it. She'll be safe. I didn't think I'd ever say this but, let her go." Alice's voice calmed me slightly. But that may have had more to do with Jasper than Alice. I hadn't even noticed him slip into the room. He was standing silently in the shadow of my bed.

"He's a beast Renesmee! He is not one of us, he will not be with you." Rosalie had clearly reached the end of her tether with me. Feeling less self control than ever, I crouched into a defensive stance, closer to her than I had realised. I let out a hiss of fury, "YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND! We're monsters too!"

Sensing the anger, Jasper hissed at me. Standing behind Rosalie, his eyes focused on me, trying to control my mood. My heart didn't have the chance to beat before everyone had taken a side. Hissing at each other from the sides they had decided to join, poised to defend themselves. Carlisle, Esme and Alice had positioned themselves in the middle of the room, creating a barrier between myself and Bella, no Mum. The other side of the room was Rosalie, Edward and Emmett. I could see Emmett fighting with himself, he wanted to stand by Rosalie, but also wanted to protect me. This is getting out of control. Before I knew it I was out of the room and flying down the staircase towards the front door.

I heard Bell ... Mum chime out "Renesmee, where are you going? It's getting late." Late? Late was not a term Mum could really use was it! They had no concept of late or tiredness. I ignored her and slowed as I began marching down the driveway. Where was I supposed to go? Figure I'll just walk around for a while, let my mind run its course. Why did I allow things to get this bad? All they want for me is the best, yet I have to go and turn it in to a fight! Dragging apart a family that has been so solid for so long. But then, I feel so strongly for Jake, if I could imprint as he does, I'm certain that he would be mine, my only desire whom I would unconditionally love and be drawn to. More than I am already. My mind began pondering over all of the events that had just occurred, alone in my sole search. Or not. Jake was waiting for me at the entrance of the drive way. I hesitated, trying not to make eye contact with him, afraid that I wasn't quite ready to speak to him without bursting into tears and blurting out everything. I glanced at his wrist, no bandage, he'd already healed. I couldn't resist looking at him, I looked up to meet his gaze, holding back the tears I so want to share with him.

"Hey you! Everything alright?" I didn't answer still fighting back tears. I gingerly nodded and blinked, blinking away the thoughts in my head. He reached for my hand, pulling me towards him. "Come with me." He smiled. Damn it. Why did he have to be so perfect? If he wasn't then things would be a lot easier, I could stay away from him. I could make things better with the family, become the sweet, innocent little girl they once knew and loved. But I'm pretty sure that she's gone now. We were walking fast, with a purpose but I hadn't a clue where we were going. It took me a while before I realised that I no longer had hold of his hand. Opps! I forget in human form that he's not as fast as me. I swivelled back around and following his scent dashed back to him. It must have been a mile or so! He was standing, arms folded, grinning as he saw me come back into view.

"I'm fast Nessie, but not that fast!" He laughed deeply, and I couldn't help but let out a little laugh with him. We walked for what seemed an age before he suddenly stopped and turned to me, pulling me close to his warm, perfectly sculpted chest. As he wrapped one arm around my waist and played with a loose curl of my hair with the other, I realised that we were on the boundary to his reservation. We had walked much further than I thought we had. This is not a place I'm accustomed to being and my heart raced a little quicker.

"Jake, why are we here? I'm not exactly the flavour of the month here am I?" I whined catching the scent of Leah, she was close but keeping her distance. He took an extremely deep breath and exhaled. His breath caressed my neck and I couldn't help but let out a little giggle. He seemed nervous all of a sudden. "Were here because the others won't come to my lands. I can finally have you to myself and say what I need to say to you. Say what you need to know, Ness." His face was so close to mine. His eyes focused upon my lips, which I'm pretty sure were quivering now despite the heat we both emitted. Without another word he leaned closer, his nose touching mine, his arm wrapping tighter around me like he thought I was planning to escape as soon as the opportunity arose. I wasn't. I noticed that he had almost stopped breathing altogether, but that wasn't a problem, I'm breathing quickly enough for the both of us! It seemed an eternity before his lips reached mine, testing the waters, he paused. I wanted to respond, to drag him further into the forest and rip of the little clothing he was wearing. Feel his electric touch roam over my warm marble skin. As I went to kiss him back he said, "The other week," his lips still touching mine, "I said that I loved you." My stomach began somersaulting, butterflies transformed in to eagles that were circling my insides. "I just need you to know that I meant it, I want to be with you. I brought you here to show you that this is where we could be, living together, happy. No confrontation, no arguing. You'd be free Renesmee, I wouldn't stop you seeing your family." It was an extremely good job he was holding me so tight or I may just have become better acquainted with the earthy floor beneath us.

"Jake, I ..." And it was in that moment, a moment that sneaked up on me like a lion to his prey, that I realised _I do love him_. "I think I love you too, Jake." My voice came out in nothing more than a whisper. "No, you know what? I know I do!" Before I could say anything further, he was kissing me, passion burning hotter than both of us put together. But that is the point! We are together, he is my Romeo and I could be his Juliet. I found my hands clutching to his back, tracing every muscle, holding on, forever. This is what I wanted, of that I am now certain. It would have consequences, and we are still young, but we have time, plenty of time.

When he pulled away from me, gasping for air, I barely allowed it; I didn't want to feel separated from him for a moment longer. He picked me up, both of his masculine hands around my waist lifting me slightly off the floor and placed me a foot from him. He knelt down and looked up at me, a wide smile spread across his sexy features. "Renesmee Cullen...I've waited long enough for this."

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter, I certainly did enjoy writing it! Hopefully not to long before the next chapter is up and running. **_**Please **__**review**__** as I love to hear what you all think **_____


	4. Innocence, leave me

_**I have not yet finished Breaking Dawn, so if any of the relationships are different I apologise in advance. Hope you enjoy regardless! I am also aware that I swap to and from present tense in this chapter, this is deliberate however as it helps to intensify those certain sections. **_

_**Rating changing to M here for sexual references. Aka, sexy time!**_

**Chapter 4: Innocence, leave me.**

'_My mind tells me this is too quick, shuts itself up and engulfs me in the passion of the moment.'_

I stare wide eyed at Jake. He is knelt before me. His smile fades as his gaze darts to the floor. He's asking me to marry him! Isn't he? But why is he looking away?

Shifting my weight from one foot to the other, I sensed my left hand still in his strong grasp.

"Jake?"

I feel a rush of adrenaline race through me. I'm infused with panic: He's changed his mind. Got this far and that's enough. Now he has me, he doesn't want me. It was too soon for him; after all we have only just admitted our feelings outright. Well mine any way, his have remained perfectly clear. Or so I thought they had been all this time. A tear begin to form in the corner of my eye as my breathing slowed.

"Look at me Jacob," I begged him. He didn't move. My heart sank into my chest and I wanted to clasp it with both my hands. Stop the hurt. I'd told him too late.

He looked back at me. He wasn't changing his mind, he was almost crying! I'd never seen him cry, this is so surreal. Did he need me to help him? Should I kneel with him? I begin to kneel,

"Look, Jake, I ..."

"Shh, Nessie. Let me do this." He flashed me that prefect white smile and I returned to standing on week knees. "I never imaged that I would be doing this and doing this so soon. I love you .."

"I love you mo ..." I butted in.

"Will you wait! Jeez Ness, gimme a chance, I don't do this often you know." He let out a silky laugh, and I felt his hand shudder. The first time I'd felt him shake out of something other than anger or rage. My lips pursed together as I tilted my head slightly to the right, miming with my free hand that I was tying my lips together. He shook his head and looked back to my hand before looking seriously at me.

"I want you to know that I have always loved you. I want to protect you, even though I'm pretty sure you could do that yourself," He mused over that as my lips curled into a wide smile, "I'll be here for you, always and never fail in the duties I should perform for you; Honour, Trust, be there in sickness and in health, mostly health hopefully! And I wanna know if ... if you, Renesmee Cullen would become Renesmee Black, part of the pack, as my wife?" He was exhaling a _huge _sigh of relief and reached into his shorts, pulling out a little wooden box, releasing my left hand to open it.

"Oh. My. God." I gasped, unsure what to do next, my hands flew to my mouth, covering them from sight.

"Well?" He asked suddenly impatient,

"YES! YES! YES, I will, I will!" I screamed out of sheer excitement, I didn't even wait for him to pull the ring out of the box before I leapt at him, hitting him with the full force of my vampire side, throwing us both to the floor. His arms wrapped around my waist, I could feel one of his hands was bunched into a fist, still holding onto the little wooden ring box.

"You really want me to marry you?" I asked cautious again. He scrunched up his tanned face, pulled a quirky half smile and sighed heavily.

"NO, actually I don't, I was bored and ..." I didn't let him finish before I punched him in the chest, not hard enough to hurt him, but hard enough to have an effect.

"Yes, I do." The words squeezed through his lips while he pretended that I'd winded him. My arms rested on his chest as my fingers traced the warm contours of his jaw. I planted the biggest smooch possible on his full, soft lips.

"Well, don't you think I should have a ring then wolf boy?"

He rolled us onto our sides, "Nothing like an impatient half human half leech is there?" I hissed at him and then stuck out my tongue. He leaned up, taller than I expected and rested on one muscular arm, undid his clenched fist revealing that little wooden box. I shrieked excitedly as he opened the perfectly crafted box revealing the most stunning ring I could possibly have imagined.

I couldn't believe this! Did that really happen? _He _wanted _me _that much? This is crazy, I glanced down at the beautifully sculpted silver ring on my finger, it was certainly one of a kind! Jacob had made this himself, moving up in the world from his usual wooden creations like my mother's bracelet. In the middle of the band there was a medium sized white opal gemstone, pretty sure he bought that though! It was perfect, perfect for us. He told me that white opal gemstones are representative of an 'angelic connection', to help clear negative emotions and improve positive ones. It was meant for me, for us, for our situation. This bliss couldn't last surely? Edward would have read our minds by now, and most likely be preparing full blown war. I glanced up, the fire was dancing with its red, yellow and orange flicks of heat whipping the air. Everyone was here, everyone for Jacob I mean. His Dad, Rachel and Paul, Quil and Claire, Sam and Emily, Embry, Jared, Seth ... and _Leah_. Even Leah was here to celebrate our engagement! We had slept well last night, I couldn't face returning home to the hell that would be let loose, so Jacob had spoken to his Dad and the others and they had allowed me to stay here for a while. The Quileute tribe, if a little wary of me, had all welcomed me in because of Jacob imprinting on me. They had told me that nothing good can come out of an imprinted pair being forced apart, and it seemed no one wanted that. Their respect for Jacob was too great to cause such misery. I remembered the story Mum had told me about Edward leaving her, alone, and how that one nearly ended. I always erased the part Jacob had played in that, except to comfort my Mum as a friend. Jacob ran his hand over mine, stopping to admire his artwork on my finger, checking it was still there more likely. My stomach fluttered at his every touch. I felt different. Like a whole new side of me had been let off the lead (so to speak!). It felt good, I don't understand why I hadn't said my feeling for Jake aloud for the world to hear before this moment? But there was this little part of me that questioned if this was right. Jacob's older than me, but he still is young. I'm younger yet. What would others say? I don't really know who I mean by 'others', I know exactly how the family will react. I twisted my head slightly to my left to see what Jacob was doing. He was smiling, looking at me with adoration in his eyes.

"Cold?" He joked in an attempt to distract me from my thoughts.

"Is it that obvious?" I chuckled. Wow, I loved him. Every negative thought I have dissolves when I see his face, when I feel his touch, the warmth of his skin, the softness of his hair, and the sparks from his lips.

"Ness!" My name startled me, until I realised that I was almost on top of him, fingers entwined in his hair. Jacob was not complaining but looking a little embarrassed by my attempted romp in front of his family and wolf family!

"Uh-hum," Seth coughed amidst spouts of laughter, "Easy, not all eyes should be seeing that! Mine are too young, too innocent!"

"Down girl!" Quil gestured at me before turning to Seth and the pair began mimicking my debauched actions.

"Oh, I love you, yes I do!" Seth said in his best female tone.

"Oi, cut it kid!" Jake raised his voice, half laughing at the situation and the other half sensing my embarrassment and trying to save me from it. He kissed my cheek and smiled.

"Yuck, makes me sick," Leah scoffed, flicking a stone of her knee that landed by my feet. I shimmied back to my section of the log, keeping my eyes on the floor.

"Sorry!" I whispered. There was a moment, or ten, of total silence before they all erupted into laughter. I let out a breath of relief that I had been holding for too long! Jake nudged me with his side and threw his arms around me, forcing us both off the log and onto the mossy grass below us. We laughed, hard. I struggled to remember the last time I had laughed this much.

"You think I'm gorgeous, you want to kiss me ... You want to hug me... You want to love me!" He sang tauntingly in my ear, making me regret forcing him to watch Miss Congeniality this morning, albeit on VHS!

Eventually everyone began to trail off. Quil and Embry went out on patrol to give Jake the night off to be with me. It wasn't long before we were alone by the dying fire. Jake stood pulling me to my feet with him, drawing me close." I'm not much of a dancer," he informed me while attempting to dance with me, in an uncoordinated waltz. "Just know you like it." He rested his chin against my temple and began humming a tune I hadn't heard before. Resting my head against his chest, as I nuzzled my nose into his neck all the thoughts flew back into my mind that I had managed to put to one side; Edward, Mum and the family. I had always enjoyed dancing, but only because Edward had loved to teach me.

"I'm going to have to tell them aren't I?" Jake stayed silent, contemplating my out of place question.

"Well, they're going to know already aren't they, with _him _reading our thoughts all the time. Though by the river the other week must have taught him a lesson or two!" I mumbled.

"Don't be so harsh on him Nessie, he's not quite as bad as you think ... nah, he is really, but doesn't change that he's your Dad." He babbled on for a while, muttering something about bloodsuckers or leeches and there had been times that they had actually gotten on.

"Jake, I know all this," I said exhaustedly. "I'll stay here for a while if it's ok, I think I'll live longer this way."

"I know I said you would be free if you choose me, but ... part of me doesn't want you to go back to them, I want you to be here with me. If you have to go see that lot, then promise me I can come with you." He was deadly serious. There was no chance he was coming with me for what I was telling them, I could see them trying to kill him for this. They would blame him for me wanting to be with Jake, _here _with Jake, not there.

"I'd rather face them alone." I piped up, quieter than I had expected. Jake stopped our weird waltz to look at me, almost keeping me at arm's length now. I saw hurt building in his eyes, his brow furrowing into a frown.

"I'd never forgive myself if another fight started and I wasn't there for you, it's what I'm promising to do for you Renesmee, let me look after you now." Renesmee, my full name, which did mean I was in trouble. He was really maturing over the last twenty-four hours, something about him a little different. Not that that was a bad thing! He has always been a little ... childish at times.

"It's really important to me that I come with you, please understand that, babe." Babe ... I liked that, another first for the evening and that brought yet another smile to face. I sighed letting out a weird little 'humph' sound and studied his face.

"Ok, if it means that much to you I'll wait a while and then go with you, ok? Happy?"

"Yup." He said triumphantly.

I moved closer to his hot body, wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. Surprised by my sudden movement he jumped slightly before placing both his hands on my waist and drawing me to him. Something in his kiss felt different, almost urgent. I ran my tongue seductively around his perfectly shaped lips, my eyes looking up into his; he was trying to guess my next move. In the same second he pulled me by the hand, leading me away from the now burnt out fire and into the cover of the trees. There was no need for words. His finger traced up from my waist and swept the hair that rested on my shoulder and placed it to rest on my back. Then he brought his finger seductively back across my neck and down towards my breasts. Our lips searched for each others with desperation, a need, a passion. My hands, tiny in comparison to his, latched onto the muscles of his back, making sure that I ran my nails over each one. I shivered as he turned his attention to my neck, kissing, licking, and biting. I moaned as his fingers began to slide off the straps of my yellow dress, his other hand now cupping the small of my back, pulling me as close to him as I could be. I lifted my right leg up against him and felt him move his hand along my thigh. I could feel his heat, the excitement from his shorts. He lifted me slightly off the floor. With sudden haste I began to unzip them. He moaned as I lowered his zip, and with a burst of desire he lifted me up and pressed me against the nearest tree.

"I want you." He whispered in my ear, turning me on more than I believed possible.

Our breathing was quickening, our kisses and touches becoming less controlled. My mind tells me this is too quick, shuts itself up and engulfs me in the passion of the moment. As his fingers traced to new, unexplored places, I let out cries uncontrollably. My arms reached for something to hold, anything. I fumbled the tree above my head before one arm wrapped around his neck, the other reaching down, wanting to feel him. He breathed heavily against my neck as I took hold of his throbbing member.

"Renesmee." He tried to say, breathlessly.

I could feel my body wanting him, preparing for him. He slid his free hand up my other thigh and under my dress, searching for me. As he touched me, feeling me, I lost all control.

"Now," I told him urgently and with the force of my legs pushing us off the tree and onto the floor.

I straddled him, as his dark eyes watched me, wanting me. He ripped away my lacy thong effortlessly with his finger and with both hands drew me onto him.

Feeling him enter me I moaned again with a shrill of ecstasy. I heard his breath catch in his throat as he felt how wet, how tight I was. He was almost growling as I leant forward to kiss him, harder this time. Our tongues entwined, my hands roaming up and down the huge muscles of his arms, his hands holding me down on him. He began to move his hips as I threw my body upright again, my hands pulled at my own hair, wrapping it around my arms above my head as I naturally began to rock against him. Harder and harder. Faster and faster. Rougher and rougher. He took hold of my sensitive breasts and circled my nipple with his fingers and I felt myself tighten. It felt good. Really good.

"JAKE...!" I breathed his name as I began to shake unwillingly.

I didn't want this to end and I knew that this meant it would. He didn't listen to me, just closed his eyes, thrusting harder, quicker in and out of me until I felt him come. My body shook intensely as I collapsed against his chest. We lay there, panting against each other. He wrapped both his arms around me, and we lay there for most of the night smiling and laughing at pretty much anything.

Before long I felt myself drifting into a content slumber, his breathing changed telling me the feeling was mutual. I rested my chin on his chest, still straddling him, looking up towards his sparkling eyes,

"Jake? I haven't done that before." I paused in anticipation of his answer.

"Me neither Ness. But it was right... With you I mean."

One of his hands found its way up to my hair and stroked it against my spine.

"But I know I love you."

"I love you too." My eyes shut, and I became aware that we no longer alone. Quil was not far from us, checking to see if we were ok. I'm sure he had heard us before. But, thinking about it, I knew that once Jake had transformed, Quil would know everything anyway. Either way, it was comforting to know that he was watching over us as we slept.

But I could not, as much as I tried, stop thinking of what lay ahead of me. I would have to tell my family about us. How am I supposed to keep the events of tonight out of my thoughts? Edward wouldn't be able to handle this. As calm and reasonable as he very often was, this would surely be a destroying factor that would test all boundaries. I would tell them tomorrow, I would go to the house. Alone. Jacob didn't need to know, it would be better if he didn't. I will tell him I need to hunt and he certainly wouldn't mind missing that. Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow, I would have to defy, no, _lie _to my fiancé.

_**Like? Please let me know, Thank you. Next chapter hopefully not too far in the future!**_


	5. Designed to kill

_**I hope this chapter is not too much of a surprise for you! However, I wanted to bring something new into the story, something threatening to all the characters. Hope you like my creation!**_

_**Once again, thanks to my beta reader for her continued checking and support.**_

**Chapter 5: Designed to kill**

'_As Edward ran towards me, it swooped down, almost in a blur. A blur? Nothing was a blur to us, nothing moved faster than we did'._

I sat leant against _the_ tree that played such a role in last nights' ... activities, watching Jake sleep. I honestly do love him; I love him with all of my heart. And yes, saying that is still a surprise to me. Looking around I realised that we were alone again not too far from the reservation. My mind was pulling itself apart; I had to hurt him, to go alone. But I promised him that I would wait to see my family and tell them about us, when he could be with me but ... I just can't risk him being in the middle. He would forgive me eventually and see things from my perspective. Wouldn't he? Jake stirred, flopping his huge arms very un-elegantly onto the hard floor beneath him. I chuckled as I watched him begin to wake. The loud thud his arms made as they abused the ground must have woken him. Waking himself, what an idiot! He's so beautiful, masculine, strong and best of all, mine. He sat up sharply, his eyes focusing upon me instantly, confused for a moment, before the memories of last night filled his head.

"Hey, beautiful." He raised one eyebrow and simultaneously blew me a kiss. It was now or never.

"Jake, I have to go for a while." I tried to keep the quiver in my voice at bay and out of my words.

"What? Why?" He blinked, still in the midst of sleep. I could see the cogs turning as he came to his own assumptions. In an instant he jumped to his feet to confront me. "To see them!" He became suddenly more anxious and that old temper began to flare.

"NO! No, I need to hunt that's all. I'm sure you don't want to come with me for that, do you?" Oh, why did I say that? It merely gave him the option to say,

"Yeah, I do. I'll know you're safe that way." Happy with his decision he started searching for his shorts and pulling them on. Well done me. Genius that you are.

"Jake," I thought fast, "I appreciate that, but I'll be okay, I've done this hundreds of times. It's kind of _my_ thing!" I watched him struggle with himself before his features formed into what can only be described as sulking.

"Yeah, fine, guess you're right," he mumbled pathetically, forcing me to feel a little sorry for him. "Guess I shouldn't see that anyway should I?" His nose wrinkled as though he had smelled something awful. "But before you go, come here."

I walked over to him tentatively, suspicious of his motives. Before I had quite reached him, he snatched me off my feet, with one arm around my waist and the other supporting my head, almost dropping me to the ground before stopping abruptly. I quickly drew in what breath I could in the millisecond it took his lips to reach mine. He held me there, in suspense for more. As his tongue searched for mine, I nearly forgot what I had to do today. Once he was certain that I wanted more, he brought me to my feet, with a single flick of his wrist he sent me spinning in mid-air and watched as I landed silently in a crouched position at least four meters from him.

"That's my girl." He laughed contently seeing the dazed expression on my face. He'd caught me off guard, something I could never allow myself to be.

"Be careful babe, love you." I didn't even manage to form an answer before he was off towards reservation, where I could hear Seth urgently calling for him. Another nomad vampire nearby probably. Good, at least he would be busy and not have the urge to stalk me for the day.

"Love you too, Jake." I said to myself. Right. I began running in the direction of the house. I was so engrossed in my thoughts I couldn't even remember crossing the river! Oops! I paused momentarily as I realised that I had just sauntered past my parents' cottage, and quickly swivelled on my toes and headed inside. Unusual, there was no one here.

"Mum?" I called through the house, expecting to see her glide her way towards me instantly. Nothing. Wonderful, I had spent the early hours of this morning psyching myself up for this confrontation only to be disappointed. I'm not sure if I would manage to do this again!

"Ed ... urr ... Dad?" Again there was no sound. Listening intently all I could hear was the faint blow of the breeze, the rustlings of small creatures, a faint heartbeat of a slightly larger animal, the whooshing of the river, and the light footsteps of what could only be my family on their way to hunt. Fantastic, I'd missed them. Wait. A louder heartbeat, not the usual sound around these parts. Not many of the animals were suicidal enough to come this close. But hey, that did mean I wouldn't have to go chasing after the family and hunt with them. This heartbeat was unusual; in every three perfectly timed beats it missed one. Intrigued, I followed the thumping sound out into the garden, jumping as I saw them.

"Mum! Dad! I've been ..." They were standing unnaturally still, not moving a single muscle, crouched down. The heartbeat certainly could not have been theirs. I looked just beyond where they stood and could barely believe my eyes. Two, huge black claws with dagger sharp nails were inches from where they were frozen. My eyes deceived me surely? Slowly, my eyes traced up from the claws to see the most beautiful feathers, gold and silver, each feather perfectly positioned on the torso, unlike anything I had ever seen. Daring myself to look further up I saw something that shook my very core and I felt a rush of ice shoot through me. An impossibly large blood-red beak, but that was not the only horror before me. Lying in the tight grasp of the beak was a body. A white body that sparkled in the few rays of sunlight that reached her skin. Her body almost broken in two, her long dirty blond hair was matted with mud and leaves ... her deep red glazed-over eyes staring, lifelessly. Her head was swaying in the breeze from the almighty wings, and it was then that I saw the hole that penetrated her neck. What could possibly do this? She was dead but she was not torn apart. I followed the trail of gold and silver feathers of the beast as they turned black towards its giant head. There they were, tilted slits of eyes, whiter than any vampire skin. They were almost luminous and they were focused upon me. As I gazed unwillingly into its eyes, I felt a tug from within my chest, pulling me towards the creature. I began to move forwards, still in the gaze of the ... monster. How magnificent it was, how ... huge. Larger than the biggest of wolves, and in truth it was twice the size of Jake or Sam.

"NO!" Edward cried almost in a hiss, but that did not draw me away from those eyes. The sound of his voice must have startled the ... bird? It pulled away from my gaze, dropping the lifeless vampire onto Mum, and with an almighty screech took flight, spiralling high into the air. Edward dashed towards me at full speed. But my eyes were fixated upon the animal's long tail as it swung back and forth with a perilous barbed sting at the tip as the bird continued rocketing higher into the air. As Edward ran towards me, it swooped down, almost in a blur. A blur? Nothing was a blur to us, nothing moved faster than we did.

I watched horror-struck as it began its descent. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Mum throwing the nomad vampire's body to the ground. Immobile, I watched the monster swoop down just in front of her; it levelled itself out and headed for us. She leapt for the creature, charging into its side with all the force of her body, throwing it off course. I watched, frozen in place as it span around, defending itself against my mother. The tail followed close behind, and as it turned its sting reached out towards us. I fell to my knees, clasping my hands over my ears as the creature let out another ear splitting screech, something had distracted it. It darted into the sky and was gone.

Edward fell to the floor, writhing in pain.

"Dad!" I was at his side in a flash, turning him onto his back I saw the deep cut running from his thigh up to his chest. It was deep, his clothes ripped. Impossible, nothing but a wolf or another vampire could possibly break his diamond skin this way. I felt the adrenaline course through my body as panic took hold of all my senses, while I clutched my Dad's cold, shaking torso.

"Mum!" I shrieked, tears blurring my vision almost completely. "Dad? Look at him! What... what did this, what's wrong with him? MUM!" I called out to her desperately, begging her for answers all the while refusing to release my arms from around my Dad. My breaths became short and sharp, each one catching in the back of my throat.

"Renesmee calm down, I don't know. I don't know what to do. Edward? Look at me!" She held his face between her hands, unsuccessfully trying to soothe his pain. I realised that we needed help, and fast. The others had not left long ago; I had heard their footsteps and this had all happened so quickly.

"CARLISLE! Grandpa," I cried out as loud as I possibly could between sobs of desperation for someone, anyone. It was a long shot but neither of us could bear to leave Dad's side even for a second to search for help. We waited, listening to the screams ripping from his mouth, leant helplessly over his contorting body. His eyes were wide, looking towards the sky, trying not to catch our gaze. Typical of him, even through this unexplained agony he was still trying to think of us, trying to control himself and spare us the terror we already felt. I touched his face, showing him the happy memories I had from my shortened childhood. How he used to hold me and smile while I giggled crazily.

It seemed a lifetime passed before I heard Carlisle race into the garden. Thank God! He had heard me. I turned to see him beside me, assessing the situation. He would help, he would make this better, he always did! Horror took hold of his features and I realised that he had no idea what to do.

"NO!" I cried, pain tearing through me as the realisation that he could do nothing dawned on me.

"What. The. Hell...?" Emmett gasped unable to finish his sentence, taking in the horrific scene before him. Alice and Jasper began to examine the lifeless vampire by the rose bed while and I felt the safe touch of Rosalie pull me to my feet and into the cottage. I heard Carlisle mumble something about library and books as he raced towards the glass house.

_**Thanks for reading! Please review!**_


	6. Broken heart, Broken world

_Quick note – I don't speak Lithuanian and relied on the mother of all knowledge ... Google! Sorry if I have it wrong!_

**Chapter 6: Broken heart, broken world.**

I heard him scream again. Any human with normal hearing capabilities would be able to hear him even from this distance.

I can't bear this. I shot up from my bed and headed out of the cottage.

"Nessie, wait." Rosalie had reached the door before me; I had almost forgotten she was still here. "I think you should stay here with me." Argh, enough of her getting in the way with her so called mother like protection.

"No, he is my Dad and I need to be with him. If I hadn't come back when I did to tell him ..." Oh no, enough said, " ... t – that I was ... sorry, then this probably would not have happened." I took hold of her hand, dragging her with me towards their house. She was not getting in the way this time.

"It was not your fault Nessie, that thing was already in the garden with them." I know she was trying to reassure me, but it wasn't working. I know that monster was already there but the fact is that I am the one who disturbed it, maybe it would have gone. Just maybe it would have if I hadn't decided to march in and announce my wonderful news to them at that precise moment.

"Nessie, what did you want to tell him?" Clearly I underestimated my Aunt and her abilities to pick through my nonsense ramblings.

"Nothing, honestly it really doesn't matter now." Jake was the last thought on my mind. I let go of her hand and quickly slid the ring off my finger as we neared the house, I gestured for her to go in ahead of me. She entered hesitantly, but still giving me time to throw the ring into the nearby bushes. I'd be able to find it later. Scanning the room I saw Dad was lying on the sofa, almost still, while Mum sat on the floor stroking his hair. Alice and Jasper stood by the widow furthest away, looking totally dumbstruck. Why was no one doing anything?

"Why did I not see this coming?" Alice whimpered into Jasper's shoulder. Grandma-Esme floated over to them to soothe Alice's distress.

"Because they are a natural enemy Alice, just like the wolves, that's why you wouldn't have seen them coming, don't blame yourself." Grandpa was sat on the stairs surrounded by a pile of books. The one book he held looked like it had survived several world wars and more! I couldn't even make out the writing on the front.

"It says here that they were extinct over two hundred years before even _I_ was turned and well... I'm old!" It was a wasted attempt at humour to break the ice, unusual of Grandpa.

"It inhabited lands in Lithuania, feeding on vampires and tortured Wolves for their own amusement. Humans probably have no idea it ever existed, and if they did it would most likely have been mistaken for a very large eagle or phoenix. But what one was doing in the garden is beyond me. Its name is 'žvėris' which is Lithuanian for beast; at least I think it is." He turned to me, "Nessie, did you get a good look? Your mum said it had a tail with a sting, did you see that? Because I'm sure that's what caused your fathers injuries." I paused, trying to remember the details of the creature but all I could see were its eyes.

"I ... I think so, I remember its eyes, they were white slits." I felt a cold shiver run through me as the memory became so vivid it was almost real.

"That would make sense," he continued. "If either vampire or wolf make eye contact with the žvėris it is virtually impossible to resist its lure. The eyes are its main weapon for attracting its prey." He looked at me again, relief in his eyes, "Renesmee, you are so lucky to get away, all of you are. It's here in legend, but no vampire or wolf has ever escaped the creature, which is most likely why we don't know of it." He shut the book heading over to my Dad's side. Removing the bandage that covered his chest, he closely surveyed the wound.

"The tail contains a poison, lethal to us. Sadly, it seems the only cure comes from the žvėris itself."

"WHAT?" I surprised myself at how loudly that came out, "Sorry, I meant what part?" I was dreading the answer, how would we find this thing? Alice couldn't see it; it would most likely be a suicide mission.

"A feather, but we will not have long and I honestly don't know if it will work. I can only go on the legend in the books." The tension in the room could easily have been cut with a knife. No-one knew what to say.

"Alright! Let's go!" Emmett sounded enthusiastic, always ready for a fight.

"No Emmett, we have no idea how to fight _or_ find the bird. Remember, it has the advantage of flight and speed, a speed far greater than our own." Grandpa stood back from Dad, running his hand through his blonde hair thoughtfully. "We cannot rush in, and as far as I can gather once it makes eye contact with its prey it won't simply leave, it will return ... eventually." I studied the floor.

It would come back for me. I felt their eyes on me as my breathing swallowed and I began to panic again.

"I won't let anything happen to you Renesmee. I will fight for you, to the end if I must." She said it faintly, but I heard her perfectly.

"I know Mum, but we will find a way. It won't come to that. Will dad be okay?" I asked with fear spilling into every word. Silence. Grandpa shook his head, eyes gravely upon my father.

"Renesmee, at this time I honestly cannot answer that. We still have no idea how to fight this thing ... and win." Mum sat silently, stroking Dad's head and kissing his cheek over and over as though that alone was going to save him. I didn't think it possible, but he looked whiter than ever before, frail too.

My breathing became heavy, my heart began to crush itself and tears began to well in my eyes. How could this be? My dad was ... dying. Dying! And there was not a whole lot we could do about it. I was lost inside my own grief for a moment before he spoke in a weak, raspy voice.

"Nessie love, someone wants to talk to you. He's worried about you. He wants you to go to him at the end of the drive." Wonderful, now Jacob would know, know that I lied to him. Again I felt six pairs of eyes burning on my face, pondering over my next move. Would they hate me for leaving to speak to him?

"Go Nessie, there is nothing we can do here for the moment. Someone will get you if your father's condition changes." The voice of reason again.

"Promise me Grandpa; promise to get me immediately - even if he coughs I want to know." He nodded accepting my terms and I headed towards the front door.

"Love you Dad." I left before he had a chance to respond. What would I say to Jake? This really was not a good time for his ... attitude. Maybe he didn't know I had lied, maybe he had heard about the žvėris and had come to warn me. A little too late wasn't it! I began to scan the ground for my ring, certain I had thrown it in the bushes. Oh no! It was gone, shit! Now I was well and truly screwed. I heard him pacing back and forth impatiently at the end of the drive. Realising that I would have to come up with another excuse as to where I had left it, I raced down to meet him but not without glancing back to the house to see if anything had changed. Well, to see if anyone had noticed my moment of unexplained panic.

There he was; my fiancé. He stopped pacing as he heard me get closer, folding his arms across his chest. All the feelings and thoughts in my head began to melt away as I stood before him. But he had to know about this creature, it could easily come after the wolves too.

"Jake, this isn't a good time there's ..." I began to try to explain what had happened today but he didn't give me the chance. His eyes narrowed as he struggled to look at me but seemed to find it harder to look away. He took in one unusually deep breath, calming himself.

"You lied to me. You promised to wait for me to see them. I thought you understood how important that was to me, but clearly not. I love you, respect you and I thought you finally felt the same. Stupid, I know! But to lie to me like this! I mean come on Nessie." He scolded me like a child, but it was hard to interrupt him, he was right! I felt myself begin to get angry, angry that he would not give me the chance to explain myself.

"And you know what? This is the best bit of all, Renesmee." He held out his hand to me, revealing my beautiful engagement ring. "This."

"Jake I ..." Darn, I must have thrown the ring much further than I had thought. I could see the hurt in his eyes and that was enough to nearly destroy me. The tears began to form against my will again. He had never looked at me this way, never looked at me with anything other than love and adoration. But this was different ... disappointment.

"Save it. You weren't ready, fine I get that. But after last night together I thought we ... I thought you ... You should have asked me to wait for you, because I would have. I mean, I will still." That made me irrationally angry. After lying to him, throwing away his ring and standing here pathetically he was still willing to forgive me. A flush of rage waved over me.

"Seriously Jacob, seriously? I said I would marry you, okay! Can't you just be happy with that? I lied to you, I went to tell my parents about us and I didn't want you there, get it? Just grow up and accept that I lied, don't just forgive me that easily! What kind of a man does that make you?" I felt my anger burning as I watched the hurt build in his features, why did I insist on hurting him this way? He dropped his arms to his side, dropping his defences to me.

"Nessie, I love you. That's why I can forgive you. I will not lose you too. And you know what? I have grown up! I'm freaking ready to make you my wife! I'm more man than _anyone_ in your bloodsucking family will _ever_ be." He almost growled at me as he spat out those hurtful words. I stood back examining what he had just said. Tears streamed down my face and my legs almost gave way as I began to say the words I didn't think I would ever want to. No to my Jake anyway. My voice lowered to just above a whisper.

"You have no idea what I have been through today, do you? My father is lying in that house inches from death, there is some kind of freaky ass monster that is out there and going to come back for me ... _to kill me_ and you want to stand here and lecture me like I'm your fucking child! Selfish Jake, that's all this is! You don't care about me really do you? And yeah last night was great, thanks, but I honestly do not know if we have a future. I. Do. Not. Want. You." Taking the ring out of his hand I held it between my thumb and index finger, crushing it as I watched it drop to the ground. I forced myself to look at him, to see his face and what I had done. Where had those words come from? That was not me. He was shaking, fists clenched, teeth pressed hard together as his breathing quickened. He bent down slowly picking up the ring he had crafted for me. I watched silently as he knelt before me, trying to bend the silver band back to its original shape. What had I just said? Where the hell did that come from? All I wanted was to tell him what had happened, to warn him, to lie to him. Instead I manage to destroy everything.

"I will wait for you." Jacob still knelt before me, but he was looking at my feet. How could he still want me? This imprinting thing is getting ridiculous, so much so fast. My heart sank as I watched him get up and turn to walk away. I can't let this happen, I LOVE HIM!

"Jake! Wait, I love ..." Before I could even finish he had turned to me, his hand around the top of my arm to keep me at distance from him. He was still shaking, full of rage and hurt that I alone had caused. His fingers held my arm hard, a little too hard.

"Jake that hurts." Even through the hard marble skin I could feel how tightly he was gripping me. He moved close, his nose almost touching mine.

"Do _not _say you love me." I was shaking, scared of him for the first time in my life. He threw the ring to the floor and in seconds was gone, heading off into the woods. What had I done? Collapsing to the ground I could no longer see through the waves of tears that just kept coming. Clutching my chest with one hand I brushed away my hair from my face, looking up for him again. But he was gone. I couldn't tell if it was my erratic breathing but I suddenly felt faint, my head spinning, my heart rate increasing, and then pain. Like someone was ripping away at my stomach and punching me over and over. I tried to scream but the pain overcame me. My head bounced off the ground as I fell forwards, my hands too busy clawing at my stomach to save me. Was this it? Was this the pain I deserved, my judgement for hurting Jacob when he had already been hurt so much? A few agonising seconds passed before I felt cold hands lifting me from the floor. I heard voices but I could not decipher who was talking. My sight became nothing but flashes of light through intense darkness. The pain only becoming more intense. And then it hit me. This was not emotional pain. This was real.

_Authors note: The next few chapters are rated M for content that may not be suitable for everyone, or upsetting to some, just to pre warn you! Reviews and comments would be greatly appreciated, Thanks x_


	7. Dying to help

**Chapter 7: Dying to help**

'_Reaching the river I stopped. If I could get a feather then I could save my Dad. If I couldn't ... then I would die.'_

Again with the disembodied voices! I fought with my eyelids to stay open as they fluttered shut after only a few seconds of opening. Alice! I could hear Alice.

"Carlisle, she's coming round." Grandpa was at my side instantly. I felt his fingers press lightly against my neck and wrist, checking my pulse. Why was it so difficult to focus on anything? I began to pull myself up and get a grasp on reality and then it hit me.

"Dad!" I shouted suddenly but surprised no-one. I hadn't realised but as I had shouted I had sat bolt upright giving myself head-rush. I heard Alice laugh her sweet little giggle as she caught me before I hit the bed again.

"Careful Nessie! Silly, you'll hurt yourself." Alice helped me lay down again as I looked up, examining exactly where I was. It didn't take me too long to realise I was back in the stunningly designed bed Alice had given me.

"He's the same sweetie, he isn't getting any better, but for the moment he isn't getting any worse either." Her voice soothed me while things began to come back into focus. Alice helped me sit back up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. I felt a twinge in my stomach which caught my breath in my throat.

"OW! What happened? I don't remember much, except this pain. Nothing but pain." My eyes searched the floor for answers as the memories began to flood back to me. Jacob. Oh no, Jake. A new pain filled my chest. Before I could think too deeply into that, Grandpa reminded me he was still standing in the room.

"Renesmee, we don't know what happened. Bella felt something was wrong so your Dad searched for your thoughts. He was too weak for details and only said, 'End of the drive, hurry.' When we got to you, you were lying on the drive. What do you remember?" I reached out for him, touching his cheek lightly, playing him the last scenes I could remember. He looked bewildered as he mused over my memories.

"I don't know Renesmee. I can't think of any medical reason why that happened. I've run every test I possibly could." Every test? Glad I was asleep for that.

"How long have I been out? Feels like a week!" I laughed lightly, stretching my arms above my head before pulling myself up and walking over to the window. What exactly was I expecting to see? I don't think Jacob would be waiting for me after our fight. But then, I don't think he would be able to stay away either. I turned; surprised that no-one had answered me. Alice was looking at Grandpa, as he seemed to be watching me.

"How long?" I asked again.

"Two weeks." Carlisle said calmly.

"TWO WEEKS! Are you freaking kidding me? How was I asleep for that long?" I heard Mom coming towards the room and she was hugging me before I could say 'hi!'

"You're okay? You don't hurt? Look at me, how do you feel?" She threw question after question at me, without leaving a second for an answer. "What happened, was it Jake? He didn't hurt you? No, he would never..."

"Give me a chance Mom! I'm okay honestly, I feel better than ever after _that_ sleep. And you know Jake would never hurt me, silly question, if anything I have hurt him." Grandpa and Alice looked a little uncomfortable.

"You can go, and thanks for everything. I should talk to Mom and I feel fine before you ask." Alice smiled and danced her way out of the room while Grandpa hesitated for a moment.

"I think you may have had an anxiety attack, I don't see what else it could be. Just take it easy." He smiled with an edge of uncertainty. I'm sure that it was not a panic attack, but then I am not the expert and I wasn't going to argue. I know it felt more than that, and it didn't explain the intense pain.

"Thank you for looking after her Carlisle, I can never thank you enough! Can I ask you one more thing? Watch Edward for me while I speak to Renesmee?" He said nothing, simply nodding as he left the room. I could tell he was still trying to examine me. I sighed heavily as I felt Mom's eyes look back to me expectantly.

"Please don't get mad at me Mom. There was something I wanted to tell you and Dad when I came back the other day ... I mean week." I was still struggling to get my head around that. She moved silently over to the bed and sat nervously on the end, eyes never leaving me. They had a hint of fear in them that only increased as she ran her hands through her long dark hair. You'd think I had just told her I was dying or something!

"Well, what happened, is Jake ok?" Jake? I should have guessed that would be one of her first thoughts. I tried to ignore the slight irritation that caused. I knew there was nothing there except friendship at the most now.

"I don't know. We ... we had a fight. He was being so immature and I just lost it with him. I told him that I didn't want to be with him anymore." I turned to look out of the window again, too see if he was there.

"Right. Well, was it serious? I mean, he imprinted on you and if you're separated then things could get bad. " Funny, not too long ago Jacob being with me was the main problem. What had changed their minds? If only they knew we had had the most amazing sex in the woods, then I'm guessing she would not be so understanding.

"I'm aware of that. I don't know what came over me; I was horrid to him Mom. Also ... there was something else. We, no, _he_ asked me to marry him." I winced as I said those words to my mother, someone who had loved Jacob but lost him. Her usually perfect face, scrunched up.

"He proposed to you? What did you say?" I was expecting a screaming match ... this wasn't it. Feeling completely on edge I answered carefully.

"I said yes."

There was an unbearably silence as I watched my mother's reactions to my news.

"And you love him." How do I answer that? It seemed more of a statement than a question! After what had happened between us I can't be sure he loves me now.

"He will love you still Renesmee, it doesn't matter how much you fight, how much you hurt him. Jake will always love you. He came by last week; I know I should have said earlier ..." Now who was the mind reader?

"What! He came here? Does he hate me? If he came to see me surely he's forgiven me, right?" He had come! Then I had not totally ruined everything. I let out a sigh of relief that it seemed I had been holding onto since we had argued. Mom was watching me and it took me a few seconds to realise that she already knew about our engagement.

"You knew didn't you?" I plonked myself down next to her on the bed.

"Yeah, I knew. Jake told me. He assumed you had said already. Then he saw your Dad and was off."

"He didn't ask about me?" That hurt me deeper than I thought possible.

"No, he did. I explained that you had had an anxiety attack. He freaked out a little, wanting to see you. We told him you were fine, just recovering. Naturally he ignored us and fought his way up here to you! Would you expect any less from him? You need to know he loves you Nessie. I am fine with it, one hundred percent. You cannot help who you fall for, even if they are not the best for you. I should know." She smiled at me and I felt that warmth and love I knew was in there somewhere spill out around us.

"Oh, I'm guessing you must be hungry?" She darted out of the door and was back before I could blink, holding a tray covered with a cream silk cloth. She was laughing as she whipped away the cloth revealing toast with cheese on and a tippy cup.

"To suit both your needs my little nudger. You probably don't remember the tippy cup. When I was pregnant with you, it never left my side! I've filled it with blood from our hunt a few days ago, so you don't need to go. You might not be strong enough yet and I don't want to risk you being out there with that thing about." I had almost forgotten about the žvėris.

"It hasn't come back for me yet then? And thanks for the ... food!" Until I had seen and smelt both the blood and the toast I hadn't even realised how hungry I was. I munched and drank as quickly as my body would allow me to. Mom kissed me on the forehead as she rose gracefully from the bed.

"No, you're safe for now. Grandpa and Grandma are working on a plan to kill it with Emmett and Jasper. Dad is also stable for the moment, though, if we don't do something soon I'm sure that will change." If she could cry, there would have been tears in her eyes as she thought the unthinkable. After all, it was a poison that was killing Dad, a poison we didn't understand. As Mom left the room, she whispered,

"Go see him."

Go see him? Who? Jake? My chest tightened as I saw his face in my mind. He had come to see me, which must mean something. But part of me deep inside was telling me no. It was holding me in my place not wanting me to see him, to love him again, a merciless want to hate him. I felt another twinge in my stomach, a painful stabbing sensation. Anxiety? Possibly. But this felt different, a sensation like I had never felt and yet totally unexplainable. I felt anger burn through me. Ruthless hate took control of my thoughts; _'Kill him, kill the enemy'_. I almost began to shake with the fire that began raging its way through my body. With the strongest wave of anger yet I let out a violent cry, threw the tray off my lap and against the wall, smashing it on impact. I lashed out at the bed, ripped the sheets from it and tore them with my teeth, clawed at the defenceless pillows as they bled feathers into the air. I let out another uncontrollable scream and then... it was gone. I was me again. I didn't understand. What was happening to me? Why would I hate him, even think the words kill him. I loved Jacob, he was my life. Suddenly Rosalie stood in the doorway caught my gaze.

"Renesmee?" She gazed at me with a dazed expression across her stunning face. "Everything ok?"

"Fine, really ... I ... just ..." I couldn't come up with an explanation fast enough. I jumped to my feet and ran past her into the hallway and down the stairs.

"Nessie!" Alice called me surprised at my full on charge down the stairs. "I can't see you." She sounded worried. Mum, Grandpa, Grandma, Emmet and Jasper were stood listening intently, obviously this was the first time they had heard this too. My feet stopped running even before I had decided to stop. I heard Rosalie edge to the top of the stairs.

"What do you mean you can't see me?" I asked slowly, unsure if I wanted to hear her answer.

"My visions, you're not in them. And I can't see anything you decide, you're blank to me." The pitch of her tone increased with every word. Mom stood up straight, fear engulfing her as much as it engulfed me. I looked down to see Dad. His eyes were closed and his complexion had changed; black veins ran over his body, standing out against his marble white skin.

"It's coming." All my senses went numb. I could see everyone moving but heard nothing besides the blood rushing through my body, my heart race against my chest, my breathing become shallow and my limbs go limp. We have no idea how to kill the ... thing! We have no idea when it is coming. We don't know exactly what it is capable of, how truly strong or clever it is. It dawned on me as I stood at the bottom of the stairs that this is the most unprepared to fight we have ever been. Preparing for a fight I was convinced we could not win. The wolves were not here to help us, to protect me and I had no idea if they would come or if they even knew. As my eyes scanned the room, I began to hate myself for the hurt I had already caused to my family, a family that would clearly do anything for me. Jake was not here, not now when I needed him the most, and I have no idea if he would truly do _anything_ for me. I was watching my family prepare for a suicide battle because of me. I cannot let this happen. While they buzzed around the house, planning their battle tactics, I made my way out of the house and towards the river, past the cottage. Everything was numb and I still couldn't hear anything except my own blood and racing heart. If this thing is coming now, then it's coming for me, not them. I will not let it get to them. It seems a good idea to die in the pace of someone I love. Reaching the river I stopped. If I could get a feather then I could save my Dad. If I couldn't ... then I would die. But the monster would leave.

Suddenly, a blood curdling screech rode the wind, breaking me out of my transfixed state. It was here. My head felt dizzy with the oxygen I was taking in at twice the normal rate. Scanning the sky I crouched down ready for a battle with my killer.

Silence.

No birds sang, no animals rustled in the foliage, the wind stopped blowing and the river seemed to stop running. I waited. It would find me, of that I was certain. It had a taste for me now and was not willing to let me go. As I stared over the river to the tips if the trees, it rose up from behind them, fast, spiralling higher and higher in to the air. Its wings almost blocking out the light, its feathers magnificent to perceive but I knew the fear they hid behind that beauty. A second deafening screech ripped from its blood-red beak, forcing me to cover my ears and fall out of my defensive stance. The earth shook beneath me with the vibrations of the animal's cry. I hissed in retaliation, it knew I was here, pinpointing me with those horrifying white eyes that are fixed on me as it begins to slow its speed. This was it; this would be my last moment of life. The enormous bird changed its course almost in a blur as it dived down; wings tight at its side, headed for me like an out of control arrow. Opening its beak, screeching again, I knew it was warning me. Warning me not to bother to fight back, that it was going to win regardless of any pathetic defence I might be able to come up with. I stared into its eyes, egging it on. I held my position. It reached me in a heartbeat snapping its beak inches from my neck as I sprang to life jumping with all my might over the creature. It was coming at me too fast to change course as I leapt into the air. I was right, the bird pulled up before it hit the floor as I landed inches from its tail and deadly sting. I watched as again it twisted its way back up through the trees with an almighty speed. I shook with fear balancing on the edge of the rocks. I glanced down at the raging river below me; turning back I couldn't see it. I quickly scanned the trees and the sky searching for a sign of its whereabouts. All of a sudden it shot out of the trees at my level, opening its beak to take me. I held out my hands, ready to grab hold of a feather, a feather that would save my father.

Something jumped out from my left, a huge russet-coloured wolf landed between myself and the beast. Growling and snarling in the direction of the oncoming enemy.

"JAKE!" As I called out his name I watched helplessly as the bird dug its claws into the side of the magnificent wolf, taking flight with Jake hooked in its dagger like claws. He whimpered in pain, still trying to snap at his captor. I reached out for Jake, missing him in my haste but pulling a silver feather from the bird's side.

I screamed out his name, praying for it to release him. Release him alive. Then I wished that I hadn't. The bird relinquished its claim on Jacob, dropping him from over one hundred feet high.

"NO!" I ran along the rocks too, my eyes on Jake's helpless wolf falling through the air. As he fell, he phased, landing in my arms with such a force it threw us both to the ground. I heard his skull smash against the stone beneath us. Scrambling to my feet to look at him I cried out his name, wanting him to hear me. Wanting him to know I was here.

"You idiot! Why Jake, why?" He didn't respond. He simply lay before me motionless.

"Help, someone!" I cried out through tears, hoping Jake hadn't come alone, hoping by now that my family would have noticed I was gone, heard my cry and was coming for me. Coming for us. My cries echoed hopelessly around me. We were alone.


	8. Intensifying pain

_Authors note: The images described at the end of this chapter may not be suitable for everyone. For those who do read on, I hope you enjoy! P.S. Seen eclipse ... AMAZING!_

**Chapter 8: Intensifying pain**

"_Your hand," She pointed at my stomach forcing me to look down. I hadn't even realised I had been holding my stomach. "The way you're ... something is different. How do you feel? Dizzy or faint?"_

He lay helplessly in my arms, as I cradled him. Blood was running wild and free from the three, deep, laceration wounds in his left side. I called for help yet no-one had come. Jake must have come alone the stupid, stupid ... amazing and wonderful man. He would begin healing, wouldn't he? He would be fine. _My Jacob would be okay._ But he still wasn't moving, he still wasn't screaming in pain or even breathing. He saved me and what for? The cost of his own life.

"Jake, please! Look at me! Breathe, baby, breathe. It'll be okay, you'll get better, you will." As the tears fell from my cheek onto his russet skin, I was trying to convince myself rather than him. I don't know what to do. Should I stop the bleeding? But with what? Looking around I could see nothing that would help. It was then that I glanced down to see the long sleeve of my pale blue top. Shifting his weight from my arms and resting him on my shaking legs I effortlessly tore away the fabric wrapped around my right arm. Pressing the fabric against his wounds, his hot blood ran down my fingers. My eyes began to burn as the earthy iron smell filled my nostrils, my eyes began to burn and I felt the frenzy begin.

"Carlisle, GRANDPA!" I screamed out his name, desperate for his help now more than ever. I had never wanted Jake's blood before. It had been a drug to me, but not a drug that I wanted to drain dry. I frantically ran my hand over the rocks trying to wipe away the temptation. I barely noticed that Jake had begun to breathe, albeit short, sharp breaths. This could not get any better if we stayed here; it was doing neither of us any good. Frantically glancing around for the demon creature in the sky, I became aware that I had no idea where that was either. It could be anywhere, silently waiting for me. I picked up Jake's limp body, stumbling not because of his weight; I was strong enough for that, but under his sheer size I began buckling. This is unbelievable, why was no-one here? They always came when I called; surely someone would know something by now! I began to run towards the house, as best as I could, stopping every few seconds to readjust Jake's weight in my arms.

Nearing the house I began calling out them, for anyone who was listening. I fell to my knees, weak with relief as I saw Grandpa, Mom and Emmett running towards me through the trees. Jake rolled out of my arms and on to the grass that he was painting with his blood. I could no longer control my anguish, losing control of my breathing, sobbing and crying louder than ever. I knelt like a helpless child beside Jake's body as Mom wrapped her arms around me, turning my face away from the sight before us. It would do no good to turn my face away now; I had seen everything that would haunt me till I ...die.

"Nessie, it's okay now. We're here, Jake will be fine. What happened sweetheart, how did this happen?" Mom's voice soothed me as I managed to lift my hand to her face, showing her the nightmare I had just lived. My face was buried in her cold shoulder and I felt her gasp at the scenes she was now watching.

"Why did you go Renesmee? On your own, you ... you silly girl. This could have been a lot worse." Worse? I really don't think that's possible. The man I love now in the arms of my Grandpa, fighting for his life. I wanted to speak, to argue with her, but I couldn't formulate the words through the incessant sobbing. She brought us to our feet, but I refused to let go of her, holding her as tight as I possibly could, thankful that she didn't release me either. Her body suddenly tensed as she turned towards the man standing only a few meters away. I looked up, intrigued. I whipped away my tears focusing upon the dark-haired, shirtless figure.

"Seth!" I ran to him, throwing my arms around him. He threw me a half smile, wrapping his arms around my waist. He was breathing quickly, as quickly as the smile faded from his face. I looked up to see the worry that was so prominent in his eyes.

"Is he ... is Jacob alright? I lost what was happening, he must have phased. By the time I got to the river you had gone." He raced through his words, desperately trying to explain himself.

"You came? I waited, and no-one came to help us. Where were the rest of you? He could have died Seth, he could have been killed and no-one was there." Instead of comforting, which I would have normally, I accused him, pushing him away from me. I tried to control my anger but I wasn't able to do it.

"Renesmee," Mom called me, warning me to keep my cool, but there was a hint of concern in her voice. I felt the wave of heat race through my body again. Without another word, I turned, fleeing towards the house, leaving Mom and Seth to talk. I don't understand why I am changing. I'm losing myself somehow and I have no idea why. These fits of rage that burn through me are unexplained, uncontrollable and I never know when they are coming. I remember when others, like Tanya and her clan had said that I was so sweet it was almost impossible to resist my charm. Where had that little girl gone? Slipped away in the night like a thief on the run.

As I entered the house I could smell the blood. I swallowed hard, it's been a while since I had eaten or drank. As I headed over to the kitchen Dad caught my eye. He lay on the sofa, not moving since I had run off this morning. Moving closer I realised that the black veins, which had previously only covered his face, had begun to run down his arms and torso.

"Oh, Dad." I knelt down next to him, taking hold of his hand running my fingers over the black patterns on his body. The poison was spreading faster now. Something had to be done, but what? I had failed earlier ... the feather! I reached into the pocket of my jeans feeling the feather I had managed to pull from the monster. I don't even remember putting it in my pocket, but then everything had happened so fast that even my eyes had struggled to keep up. Grandpa flew down the stairs and stood at my side.

"You found one?" He examined the feather, taking it from my hand.

"Well, I didn't find it, but yeah. How does it work then, it'll make him better right?" I spoke for the first time in a while with hope in my voice. Grandpa looked at me, smiling with his golden eyes.

"From what I have read all we need to do is boil water with the feather in and once it's cooled down we bathe your Dad in it." He looked back to the feather aware, as I was; that it sounded ridiculous. Was that really all it would take to eradicate the poison flowing through my father?

I eyed him doubtfully. "Really?" He caught my meaning.

"As a highly-trained doctor, I can tell you now that alternative medicines have never really held much appeal for me." A tiny, wry smile tugged at the corner of his lips, before he turned serious again. "However, it's the only option we have at the moment, so let's go."

"How is Jake?" I murmured as I followed Grandpa towards the kitchen. I felt the hope fade slightly as I replayed the images of Jake being dragged by claws into the sky. Grandpa turned his head to talk to me as he continued across the hall.

"He will be fine Renesmee. He just needs to rest. I've treated the wounds and they are healing pretty quick. His skull was fractured but is healing correctly, and there was no serious internal bleeding.

Don't worry he will be up and about before you know it." Without another word he entered the kitchen, and I headed back to the sitting-room, collapsing onto the couch next to Dad. I sighed a huge sigh of relief as Mom came into the house, sitting by me and stroking Dad's hair. She looked worried.

"Seth said the Z... the thing came after the wolves once it had finished with you. They are okay; there were enough of them to keep it from causing damage. It has gone again, but they don't know where, and are sure it will come back." I knew that. It would still want me, especially as it knew that it nearly succeeded. I looked up to meet her gaze.

"I know." The words left my lips in nothing more than a whisper. She stroked my rosy cheek, holding me there for a moment.

"Where are the others?" I had just realised they were not here.

"Gone to hunt." She said bluntly, I could see she was annoyed that they had not been here for us. I heard the water begin to boil from the kitchen followed by an extremely high-pitched screaming. Confused I rushed towards the source of the noise. The first thing I saw was Grandpa's blonde head bent over the stove with his hands clamped over his ears. Without turning around he murmured quietly,

"Don't worry, I'm alright. It's coming from the feather. It has some connection to the bird; hopefully this might weaken it somewhat." Before I had a chance to reply, I felt a stabbing pain in my stomach. My head began to whirl and my legs felt suddenly week.

"T – That's great Grandpa. Um, I'm going to lie down, I don't feel well. Will you come and get me when the medicine's ready for Dad. I'd like to be there." Carlisle smiled at me and nodded once, before turning his attention back to the bubbling pans on the stove. The pain was slow, not like before but I could tell it was going to get worse. I headed out of the kitchen and towards the stairs. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Mom watching me carefully, her perfect features curled into a frown. Pausing I turned to her,

"What?" I waited, wondering why she was looking at me so strangely. She tilted her head slightly to the side, her eyes running over my aching body.

"Are you okay?" I assumed she was thinking I had caught a human illness or something; another unknown entity we had not yet dealt with! But she spoke again, quieter this time in a tone that raised the hairs on my arms.

"Your hand." She pointed at my stomach forcing me to look down. I hadn't even realised I had been holding my stomach. "The way you're ... something is different. How do you feel? Dizzy or faint?" My breath caught in my throat as she described my symptoms perfectly. How could she know? I hadn't shown her how I was feeling; she couldn't read my mind. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other; unsure what to say or what she was getting at. As I tried to open my mouth to speak a wave or intense pain rippled through my body, rendering me useless. I swallowed hard, seeing that Mom was still watching me.

"Go to bed, Renesmee. I want to talk to you when you feel better. There are a few things I need to know." She turned immediately back to Dad, not allowing me to answer. I followed her orders without question, sure that I was now in trouble for ... something? What was going through her head? I can't think of anything I had done to get her cross with me; something that related to this worsening pain. As I got to my luxurious bed I collapsed, exhausted and drained.

... ... ...

"Renesmee love?" I woke suddenly startled by the male voice calling for me. Jake? My eyes focused on the male figure stood in my doorway. No, it wasn't Jake, he was thin and pale. My eyes took a second to connect with my brain in order to focus.

"DAD!" I screamed with excitement and bounded over to him throwing my arms around him as tears built in the corner of my eye. So much for waking me! How long had I been sleeping? I stood back, checking his perfectly white skin for the black veins that had been there only a matter ... not long ago. Nothing, they were completely gone! I looked back to his smiling face,

"I love you Dad, I'm so sorry this happened. If only I had stayed away ..."

"I don't ever want you away from us Renesmee; it was not your fault. It was irresponsible to go on your own today and I'm thankful that you're not hurt. You should have thought of the consequences to your actions. However, I'm fine now thanks to you and Grandpa. Before you say anything, just listen to me. I may have been unable to communicate before, but I could still hear your thoughts. I'm sorry about you and Jake fighting. The wolves cannot control their temper you know that, we warned you." I sighed, pulling away from him. I really did not want to have this argument now. And the pain racing through my body had still not desisted.

"Dad, please. We were engaged, now I don't think we are. I hurt him and I don't know why. He would never lose his temper around me and he would never hurt me. You know that." I looked down at my feet, relieved he didn't seem to upset about the engagement that I wasn't sure _was_ or _was not_.

"I am upset about it. You are still young Renesmee, young to be getting married." Married? Hold on, I just agreed to get engaged, I didn't realise that meant charging down the aisle!

"It doesn't," he said a little hastily. Get out of my head Dad! I looked up at him with a joking smile, knowing full well he would have heard that too.

"But then so was your mother. I know that you think you are in love and I am aware that it is hard not to reiterate feeling once someone has imprinted on you, but just promise me you will not lose yourself." I thought for a moment about what he was asking of me, flicking my hair over my shoulder so I looked busy. Well, he would still be reading my thoughts right now anyway.

"Yes I still would." A smile began to emerge from his lips.

"I'm just so glad you're okay Dad. I came back to tell you about Jake and, well, that happened and ... I'm sorry for my moods the past few weeks. I'm honestly not sure what's going on with me." I heard heavy footsteps coming towards the bedroom, too heavy to be any of us. I looked to Dad, with an '_I know; and we're fine look'_ in the hope he would let Jake and I sort things out ... alone. His eyes focused upon my face, unsuccessfully trying to convince me that he was not focusing on Jake's mind right now. As Jake appeared in the doorway, I reached my hand out to Dad's cheek to show him my memory of Jake proposing, praying that he would see our love and the innocence of it. How beautiful it was. Jake did care for me, he loved me and I know that I love him despite of everything that has gone on recently. It was because of him jumping in front of me today that helped me to remember how perfect he was. I was suddenly drawn out of my thoughts as Dad leaned over to me, placing my hand back into my lap. He didn't smile like I had expected him too; he simply kissed me on the forehead and headed over to Jake. Jake stood his ground as my father moved towards him, arms folded.

"Jacob, I would rather you had asked myself and Bella before proposing marriage to our daughter. It should be discussed ..." Jake interrupted him defensively.

"Like you did Charlie?" Dad looked down, embarrassed by Jakes accusation, and what I can only assume was a memory from before my time. Of everything I know about them, there seems to still be so much that I don't. It grates a little that Jake knows more of my parents than I do, but that isn't anyone's fault and it's stupid to ponder over it! It took Dad to speak again to draw me out of my head.

"Yes. That should have been handled better too. For now, however, I shall accept whatever Renesmee wants. If she wants you, then so be it I won't stand in her way. If not, then I expect you to respect her wishes also." Jake was silent but keeping his narrowed eyes on my father. I shifted on the bed as the stabbing pain began again. What is this constant stabbing, tearing sensation? Why would it not stop? At least I could be grateful it was not like before. That pain was ... unbearable.

"Thanks, I would appreciate that you don't force yourself like ... I will be close Jacob, but I won't be listening." They were having another of their conversations that apparently was too much effort to speak out loud. Before I even looked up, recovering from the sudden pain, Dad was gone. Jake still hovered the doorway, unsure what to do or say. I looked over to him, how incredible he was. How easy to forgive. With each step he took towards me, the pain became more intense in my stomach. I tried to smile at him, to hide what I was feeling. I must be a better actress than I thought as he didn't seem to notice.

"Hey, beautiful." He spoke quietly, it sounded like he wasn't sure if he should still address me that way. I didn't mind. I loved that he thought I was beautiful.

"Hi, Jake." The words came out almost muffled by my tongue as I tried not to scream out in agony. My eyes wondered over his magnificent body, there was no evidence of his attack earlier, not even a scratch remaining.

"Quick healer, remember?" He must have followed my eyes. "Look, I can't keep doing this Nessie. Telling you I love you, thinking everything will be great and then you break me down again, every little bit hurts more than before." He paused waiting for me to answer. I waited, knowing that if I spoke I would only cry out. My eyes looked around nervously for a moment before I realised that I would have to answer. I took in a deep breath, sitting upright in the hope the daggers in my stomach would go away.

"I'm so sorry Jake. I have no idea why I've been so horrid to you." I paused to flash him a reassuring smile as the pain suddenly intensified. I gritted my teeth, looking back to the floor to hide the agony I'm sure my eyes would be showing. "I love you, I honestly do and I want to be with you." Another dagger pierced my side. I so wanted to scream, to call for help, but now wasn't the time. Jake needed to know how I felt. He smiled at me with that warm, inviting grin.

"Are you sure this time? I know my love for you is intense Ness, but I can't help it. If you need time for us just to be us then alright, I can do that..." I only had a second before the pain came again, I could tell when it was going to begin again now.

"I want to marry you Jacob Black. I want to be your wife, to love and to hold you. For you to be the one I wake up next to every morning. That I can bring here to show my family how proud of you I am." I had to stop again. I was rushing through what should be said slowly with intense feeling, but I simply couldn't. I didn't look up but I knew he would be smiling like a Cheshire cat. My eyes fluttered wildly while trying to keep me focused on the wooden slats. I saw Jakes feet move towards me, before he knelt down. I forced my heavy head to look at him, he was level with me.

"I fixed it. Wanna be my fiancée again?" He opened out his hand revealing my ring. It was perfect again.

"I do." The words came out as a whisper. This was not the second proposal I had imagined, but it would do. He took my hand from stomach, pushing the ring back into its rightful place. With his free hand, he lifted up my head. I was grateful for him to be taking some of the weight of me. He leaned in, kissing me with such passion that under any other circumstances would have made me want to pounce on him, drag him off somewhere and repeat that passionate night in the woods. He held me there as I tried to kiss him back. My head span, my limbs went weak as I could hold it in no longer. I screamed out, collapsing forwards onto his hot muscular chest. Before I knew it he had lifted me into his arms and was running down the hallway towards the stairs. My head hung over his arm and I could see his lips calling out, but I could hear nothing but the rush of blood. My heart began to race; it was painful as it beat against my rib cage trying to escape this hell. I no longer had the strength to hold my stomach and the pain only became worse. Knives scraping at my insides, tearing them apart. I felt a ripping sensation as Jake looked down at me. Had he heard it? Was it that loud? I couldn't work out what was happening, I didn't even feel Jake lay me on the sofa. I screamed again, a blood curdling scream that made the goose pimples on my arms raise. Everyone was here; I could make out their figures running around wildly, Grandpa leaning over me with some sort of metal thing. He placed it to my stomach and then to my heart. I screamed again as I felt the blood vessels burst in my eyes, my ribs being pulled inwards before they sprang back slicing my muscles. My eyes began to roll back into darkness, but I fought it. Another rip, this time lower down. Jake was placing a cold flannel on my forehead as Grandpa began to speak. I listened with all my diminished energy; wishing then that I had not.

"She's in labour. Bella, Edward, Jacob ... it's killing her."

_Hope you enjoyed reading! The next chapter will be written from Jacob's point of view. Please let me know what you think!_


	9. Trip to hell

_Hi guys! Just a quick reminder that this is now written from Jacob's POV. RATED 'M' FOR OCCASIONAL PROFANITIES._

_Thanks to my beta reader once again, this chapter made her cry! Sorry sweetie!_

_Sorry for the re-upload, I had to edit a spelling error!_

**Chapter 9: Trip to hell**

"_I love you." I whispered into her ear. Maybe sometime, somewhere she would hear me. Bella let out a cry of agony as she fell to her knees beside me, her head in her hands'_

I stood bolt upright. Labour? As in ... having a child, a baby, a monster, my kid? What the FUCK? We only ... it was ... a few weeks, three maybe four at the most. How can this be possible? How can she be pregnant? I guess I know that, but to be in labour now? I looked down to see Nessie writhing in pain. The pale doc looked bewildered but was desperately trying to help her. He would be the best for this; after all he had helped Bella through her pregnancy. She screamed again, a scream that tore through me. She reached for my hand, looking to me for support. Taking her hand I knelt down by her side. Her stomach was perfectly flat, not a hint of anything growing in there. What I would give to run now. To get out of this freak show! Her hand was almost crushing mine as she clutched on to me. Bella was standing very still, eyes burning through me.

"Jacob, I need you out of here, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, you too. We need room to work. I'll call you back when we are done Jacob." Carlisle had his cold bloodsucking hand on my shoulder. I shuddered at his touch, but the respect I have for him calmed me.

"NO! Jake don't leave me." Nessie's words came out muffled and hoarse as she begged for me to stay. I looked into her beautiful fear-filled eyes and back to the doc.

"I can't go." My legs were trying to take me to the door while my heart pulled me to her.

"Jacob, you don't need to see this. We didn't even know she was pregnant, let alone how ... far gone she is ..."

"Only a few weeks, when we got engaged that's when ..."

"Thank you Jacob. I don't need to hear anymore than that. Then I cannot explain why she is in labour, but I'm guessing something is seriously wrong." He paused to study my face and whether I could take what he was about to tell me. "She may be miscarrying Jacob." I gasped, realising that I had stopped breathing for who knows how long. The doc went back to work on Nessie, only glancing up at me once more to remind me to leave. Nessie looked ... dead. Her beautiful colour drained out of her cheeks, her eyes nearly shut as her hand went limp in mine. I began to walk to the front door where I could see the other leeches, waiting for me no doubt. When I looked back, all I could see was Bella lying there. All that blood and shit. Carlisle was removing Bella's, no, Renesmee's clothing in order to help her prepare. But she wasn't getting prepared, she was almost gone. I turned and headed back in the direction of Nessie. Suddenly there was an almighty ripping sound from her stomach. I could see she wanted to scream but there was nothing left.

"Carlisle, help her!" I growled at him, something had to be done. Rip it out, just save her. There were many things about Ness that were similar to Bella but I couldn't let this be another. She was not going to die this way too. Then it hit me, if she had a kid that lived, it would be mine. I can't be a father. I mean what would it be, a bloodsucking leech, a human or a wolf? How could it live? Nessie was a test in herself being a hybrid and that nearly ended in both of them being dead. But this thing could be three enemies of itself. I don't get it. It could tear itself apart. That's it! That's what the ripping sound is. Man, don't let her die too. Maybe the doc was right, she was losing the baby, it was dying and she would be alright. It pained me to say baby, even to something that was mine. I always imagined us having kids but never imagined like this.

"Jacob, please!" Bella wanted me gone now too. Well fuck that, I wouldn't leave for her. Nessie is all that matters, I love her so much it literally hurts. I never knew love like this existed. Almost makes me understand how the leech Edward loves Bella. Not that I'm ever gonna admit that. As I reached Nessie's limp body, I leant down, kissing her on her inviting lips, if I was going to be forced out of this room then I want to be the one she remembers the most. As I reached her lips, which now seemed cold I felt someone pull me back with such force I landed on the floor near the door. Edward.

"GET OUT," He hissed at me through those killers' teeth. His face showing the pain and anger he was trying to conceal. For whose sake? Bring it on.

"Back off bloodsucker." I jumped to my feet and he met me, pushing against me with his freakishly cold torso. With every push he attempted my body began to shake more. This time maybe I wouldn't control myself. What I would give to rip his throat, but then Nessie would never forgive me.

"Jake, Jake please. Think of Renesmee. Edward, stop it!" Bella was trying to push between us, with much more luck then when she had been alive. I saw Edward look into her eyes before turning and going to the doc's side.

"Please Jake, this isn't the time." She looked at me with that same old look of desperation. I don't want to leave, she is my fiancée, and I love her just as much as they do. I calmed my erratic breathing, remembering that Renesmee loved that I had grown up a bit. I'll be the bigger one, not him. Yup, that even surprised me to think it. Without another word I turned and left, passing the older white bloodsucker, Esme I think, on the way out. She shut the door behind me, but her eyes showed me compassion that I couldn't bear to see. They were waiting for me, the others.

"How could you do this to her?" The blonde one hissed at me, hate in those pretty, but dead eyes of hers. I tried to ignore her, making my way down the steps. I could find somewhere to sit on my own and wait, somewhere I could still see what was happening. Sit, that's a joke, pace back and forth more like. Renesmee screamed again. I closed my eyes, hating that I couldn't be there with her, to comfort her. Warm her.

"She was talking to you, dog." The small-brunette woman chimed out in my direction.

"That doesn't mean I have to answer her." I spat over my shoulder to them.

"Grow up, you got her pregnant. You're sick. She's still a child." Now the blonde one had done it. I turned, little control over my own body.

"She is not a child." I felt a growl make its way up through my body. "She is an adult, so am I. We can do what we want. It's none of your business leech."

"Without thinking of the consequences." The tall dark haired one at blondies' side piped in. Charming!

"Yeah! Just like your precious Bella and Edward." They hissed and me, crouching defensively.

"Kids ..." Esme must have heard the commotion, warning us through the glass door before returning back to Nessie. They didn't move, holding their defensive positions. Nessie must have woken again, as she just kept screaming. I felt her pain, like it was part of me. My heart sank with each scream, with each loud tear, rip or break. Again, I could see Bella in my head; like I was here again with her and him ... biting and tearing and ... I shook my head, shaking away the disgusting images that broke me all that time ago.

"Craaazy!" The blond one laughed to the others under her breath. I narrowed my eyes, throwing her daggers. If only I could really throw daggers through my eyes. How could they laugh at a time like this? Do they even care for her at all? Not that it matters, they cannot care for her more than I do, no-one could.

... ... ...

It seemed like years passed. I waited, pacing back and forth. Every now and then glancing up to the huge glass windows, trying desperately to see the one I loved. What was going on in there? Why was it talking so long? Several screams echoed through the house, the sound bouncing off the trees around us. Seth had come by, wondering what was happening. He had almost passed out when I told him the truth. I didn't want him hanging around so I sent him off to patrol the area for that weird bird thing that had been hanging around. Sadly, it hadn't killed Edward. One can only hope, eh! Lost in my thoughts, I suddenly became aware that the screaming had stopped. I stood deadly still, listening for the cry of a baby or the cooing from the others. Maybe we had created another monster, but if its mother was anything to go by, it would be stunning at the very least. There was nothing. The leeches who were sat on the steps had noticed too. Their faces seemed ... blank. Had they heard something I hadn't? My heart began to race and my stomach tied itself into knots. I heard footsteps coming towards the door at the top of the steps. I waited. Edward appeared in the doorway. Why wasn't he coming down to us? He just stood there. He was eerie looking through the glass lit only by moonlight. His face was blank, but I could see something. Hate. Before I could take another breath he flew towards me, knocking us to the ground. His hand tightened around my neck as he hissed and spat at me. Scratching at my arms and face in his fury. Snapping his teeth towards my neck.

"Edward, what's going on?" The small brunette girl stood behind him, begging for answers as the others headed inside again.

"I'll kill you," he spat through his teeth. His face wild with fury, hate and anger. I fought against him, pushing him off me. It did no good; he flew back at me with a crash as his body hit mine. I searched my head for something to say, but couldn't think of the words. Finally, with a low growl ripping through me I lashed out. Striking my fist across his cold, hard cheek. It only made things worse as we tumbled around; striking out at each other every moment we had a chance to. I could easily have phased, but I tried not to. I still had no explanation for this and Nessie would only get upset. I jumped back, stamping my foot across his neck as he lay on the ground hissing and snarling ferociously at me.

"You. Killed. Her." He spat the words, as I saw him shatter. I froze with those horrifying words. Words that were more crushing than I could have imagined. Adrenaline rushed through me. He pushed my foot from his neck, pulling himself into a sitting position. I watched as he curled his arms around his legs and buried his head. The small brunette one was at his side in a second, wrapping her arms around him.

"No, Edward, no. She can't be, she can't." My heart crushed itself under the pain; my lungs seemed to collapse as I fought against breathing. Tears took over my sight and the world became nothing but a blur. All feeling in my arms and legs disappeared, as I began to step back.

"She died Jacob. We couldn't save her." Edward whispered in despair. My eyes searched through the tears that were burning away instantly. I moved like a ghost as I started up the stairs into the living room. He couldn't be right. He just wanted us apart that's all. He thought I would leave and not check she was okay. Well he was wrong, I would go in and I would see her with our monster baby; smiling proudly over an adorable little creature. As I entered the room, they were all standing against the furthest wall, motionless. I moved towards the sofa where the doc stood up, dropping a white sheet from his hands to look at me with sad, dead eyes. NO. She wasn't dead. My Renesmee was not dead. As I got closer, I could see the blood everywhere. The white sheet, stained with her blood, covering her body up to her neck. My knees gave way as I fell, reaching my hands out to her pale white face. Her colour was gone, her eyes closed. My lips quivered as I bent to kiss her lifeless lips.

"Nessie, baby? It's Jake, I'm here now. Look at me ... Look at me .. Look at me, Look at me." I begged her to open her eyes, to see me here. To smile that irresistible smile that made me weak. But she didn't move. I laid my head to her chest, listening. Her heart, her wonderful heart was silent, resting. I moved the sheet from her small body. Her stomach drenched in blood, ripped away. She was torn in two. My hands shook and my breathing missed a couple of breaths. I stared in horror at her mutilated body. I cried out to a silent room.

"NO. Nessie, please no." Tears poured from my eyes as I stroked her face, kissing her once more. Longer, harder this time. This was it. This was the end. The end of us. She really was ... dead. I cried harder, coughing as I gasped for air, chocking on my grief. Bella came to me, placing one hand on her dead daughters head and the other on my shoulder. If I had the energy I would have shrugged her away, but I didn't. I pulled Nessie's head into my arms, as I cradled her. Willing her alive again. How could I go on now? She would never open those eyes again so I could look into them to see her soul. I would never be able to call her my wife. I would never hold her again. I would never kiss her again and feel the sparks flying as she kissed me back. My world fell down around me, crashing and burning. How could this happen? I brushed the hair from her face, kissing every part of her that I could.

"I love you." I whispered into her ear. Maybe sometime, somewhere she would hear me. Bella let out a cry of agony as she fell to her knees beside me, her head in her hands.

"Bring her back Jake. Bring my daughter back to me." She looked at me hopefully, but she knew as well as I did that there was no possible way I could. It was too late. She was gone forever. I kissed her once more as my heart combusted under the hurt. A hole through me had been left. I looked over to the others. The blonde one was holding a bundle, rocking it gently. Was that it? Was that the creature that killed my only love and reason for living? Slowly I brought myself to my feet, laying Nessie's head in the hands of her mother and made my way over to them.

_I am sorry for killing Renesmee! Please don't be angry, it isn't the end! Only where the story had to go, I hope you enjoyed reading it. As ever, please review, thanks x_


	10. Dance with the devil

_**Author's note**__: If you can, listen to a song called 'Dance with the devil' by 'Breaking Benjamin' when reading the first half of this chapter it really captures what I'm writing here and was kind of my muse for this chapter._

_Also, apologies if there are more grammatical errors in this chapter as my beta reader (also my housemate) went home today for a month so isn't able to beta for me! I shall do my best regardless!_

**Chapter 10: Dance with the devil**

'_My head snapped back to see her but it was not Rosalie, it was Nessie. My heart missed a beat as I examined my only reason for living; who was now standing before me.'_

I don't recognise myself, I feel lost. Alone. Jacob Black escaped when Renesmee Cullen became cold and dead. I stood in the middle of the bright white room, but all I could see was darkness. Standing here helpless and like I had been left for dead was not going to bring her back now. Every muscle in my body felt like I had just done six rounds with Mike Tyson, if he was immortal. I closed my eyes tightly as the memories of the past years went by behind them; day after day tormenting me as they flew past with the fading memories of good being overshadowed by all of the bad. They circled me, drowning me. The bittersweet laughter and tears lingered as the pleasure and the pain broke me. I drew in a sharp breath as my eyes flew open. I had seen them; Nessie's dark, dead eyes watching me. Trying to steal all that remained of my pointless life. Take it. I opened my eyes, realising I was still in this hell. My sight locked on the blond bloodsucker and the tiny bundle of satin in her pale arms only meters from me. I let out a deep growl, preparing for my dance with devil, staring into her evil golden eyes, my breathing becoming irrational and uncontrollable. Why was _she_ holding my monster child? Just because her life was lonely and childless does not mean it will be filled by the one in her arms. I won't let her.

"Say goodbye Rosalie." I snarled at her, spitting out her name like it was poison. Her eyes widened, surprised at hearing her name leave my lips; despite it being blanketed in hate. She drew the bundle closer into her cold body as she cowered over it, still watching me intently. Her eyes narrowed, she revealed her sharp teeth behind her peachy but murderous lips. I began to tremble where I stood as a snarl ripped through her gritted teeth. A wave of intense heat unlike any I had ever felt raged its way through me, forcing me to cry out, morphing into a bitter growl as I lurched forwards towards the beautiful devil. If I was going to die tonight, then at least I was going to fall fighting the demon before me, the leech from hell. I would stare into her eyes as I killed her. I would see her being dragged down to hell with no soul, no hope and no saviour. Finally she would be where she belonged. The corners of my lips curled up menacingly as I pictured that moment. I glanced back to Nessie's cold, dead body on the sofa; it would be the only other memory I would want to take with me. I stopped dead in my advance towards Blondie.

She was gone.

Bella still crouched by the sofa as though still holding Nessie's head. She was silent and motionless. I froze while my eyes hastily scanned the sofa. She must be there, a trick of the light, right? A childish giggle flooded the room from the direction Blondie was standing. My head snapped back to see her but it was not Rosalie, it was Nessie. My heart missed a beat as I examined my only reason for living; who was now standing before me. She was alive! My love was alive again. I felt my heart begin to heal, the deep nothingness I had been feeling faded away. I let out a half cry, half whimper of relief as I stretched out one hand for her. Reaching out, I began to doubt what I was seeing, how could she be here again? I took a step back to see her properly. Something was different. She was dead, only seconds ago. Her stomach was healed; there was no blood, no evidence of our child ripping its way through her to escape. My eyes traced up the contours of her perfect body before abruptly pausing to focus on her chest, it was still. How sexy she looked. Wait, _still_? She wasn't breathing and her heart wasn't beating. My stomach began to tie itself in knots, but this time it was painful. I hesitated, listening only to my short breaths. Finally, I fought against my own will, wanting to see her face but knowing that I probably shouldn't. My eyes reached her face where they stopped, astonished by what they seeing. Nessie's face was whiter than white, her skin resembling marble; like the doc's and Bella's and ... _his_. Her huge eyes were wide with fury, fire burning through the deep red. Her teeth were perfectly white and deadly sharp. Her auburn hair looked more beautiful than ever, it almost glittered even in the half-light of the night. Her face was blank, but her eyes ... her _red_ eyes, glared back at me. She slowly tilted her head down, but never breaking eye contact with me. She hissed at me, warning me. Ignoring it and unable to move my body I realised that she _was them_. A god awful smell filled my nostrils, the smell of her. I frowned, remembering how sweet she had smelt before and confused by what I was now looking at. She was completely ... vampire, completely leech. Her expression was wild and dangerous as she took a small step towards me. Another giggle surrounded us, but her lips didn't move. She smiled a menacing smile while bringing her head back up to my level. I watched, confused and almost horrified as her beautiful curly hair changed from auburn to black, to red, to blond, to white, to red again. This wasn't right. Am I drunk? Pretty sure I'm not.

"Nessie? It's me, Jake. Come on babe, you know it's me. What happened to you? How ..." Realising that she didn't seem to know me I tried to talk ... No ... reason with her. I wanted her to remember me. Why didn't she know me? I wanted to run to her, to draw her into my arms and never let her go, to kiss her and never stop. Instead, I found myself backing away. She didn't reply, only becoming more ferocious as she began hissing and snarling at me. She looked crazy, was this really my Nessie? I looked to the others for help, for answers, wondering why they hadn't intervened already. Plus, one of them had to have done this to her. I turned back to where Bella had been sat, but she wasn't there. Seriously, I would have heard her move, WHAT'S HAPPENEING TO ME? Tuning back to Nessie, I nearly fell to the ground as I realised she was gone too. My head began to spin as I started to circle the room, making sure I could see everything. This isn't me, I don't react like this top anything! As my gaze got to the stairs, I saw them. They were standing on the glass stairs, only a step between each of them. They faced away from me, heads hung down and facing the wall away from me. Bella was standing next to her husband. Man, how did she get there?

"Doc? Bella?" I called out to them, but they didn't move. My eyes darted back to the sofa as I heard Nessie's soft giggle again. For once, hating to admit it to myself, I was scared of a bloodsucker. I have no idea what's going on, why Nessie is like that? She sat perched on the back of the sofa, legs crossed and arms spread out to her sides.

"Kiss me Jake." I didn't see her lips move, but I knew it was her speaking. I couldn't resist her, as much as suspicion took over me, I edged towards her. Glancing back to the stairs I saw that they still hadn't moved. This is wrong, something is so wrong! Nessie, a cold blooded vampire? How can I love her now? But as she curled out one long finger towards me, beckoning me to her, I knew that I still did. She slid her perfect body back down onto the seat as I stood in front of her. She lay down, pulling me onto her. I couldn't kill her, couldn't attack her even if she came at me and even if I wanted to. I winced as her sent filled my head, nostrils and lungs. She smelled ... really bad.

"Renesmee, I love you." My voice broke as I said those four words I never thought I would say again. She laughed, a laugh designed to get beneath my skin, and it did. Like nails on a chalkboard. She wasn't even reacting to me saying I loved her. She was a newborn, a beast, a monster. She pecked at my neck, teasing me. I wanted to look away, I tried to, but couldn't. I couldn't get enough of her. I lost all control as her dainty, cold hands ventured down my body. Taking her face in my hands, I kissed her hard, passionately. I felt her teeth biting at my lip but ignored it, she wasn't venomous anyway. God I want her, like before, like the woods. I wrapped my hands around her waist, pulling her onto my lap as I shifted our position. She let out a soft moan as my hands moved up to her breasts, caressing them. She arched her body against me, her lips opening and closing with pleasure. As I caught sight of her blood-red eyes, I remembered that she was dead ... had been ... What?

"Shhhh." She pressed one finger to my lips, bending to replace her finger with her lips. Had I said that out loud? She slowly moved her hips back and forth, rubbing me in all the right places. I groaned as the blood rushed downwards, arousing me even more.

"I want you." I managed to get the words out before she slapped me across the face. It had no great effect but she smiled anyway, bearing her dagger like teeth.

"I want you Jake, but not this way." She spoke fast, too fast for me to understand. But before I could ask her what she had said, she dug her teeth into my neck, tearing at my flesh. I screamed out in pain as daggers began to tear apart my veins and muscle, moving quickly through my body. Her hands covered my mouth, muffling my agony. She's venomous now, evil now. With the last ounce of strength I pushed her off me; she landed perfectly only inches from me. She was smiling, blood dripping from the corner of her mouth ... my blood. She flew at me again, hitting me with such a force I couldn't breathe. She began slashing her fists and nails against my chest. Her eyes wilder, snapping her teeth and hissing in my ear. Gasping for air, everything went black.

"Err, Jake?" I jumped off the bed instantly, running head first into the door in front of me. Ouch. I gasped for air, clutching at my neck. Bella was hovering by the huge bed, watching me with a look of total confusion.

"Calm the breathing you'll give yourself a heart attack. Here." She placed a bowl of water by the white pillow. White? Was I in this vampire lair still?

"It's cold. You're going to need it to wipe away all that sweat!" She plunged a face cloth into the water, before reaching to my face and dabbing it along my forehead. It felt really good. Staring at her, I realised that _this_ was reality. She sensed my confusion as she returned her attention to the bowl of water.

"Sorry Jake, Carlisle had to sedate you earlier. It was for your safety as much as the ... baby's. You looked like you were going to go mad before. Err, you were dreaming pretty heavily, must have been the anaesthesia. Carlisle said that might happen, but you're okay now." She spoke in her typically Bella voice, but her eyes still looked sad and lonely, they were not her eyes. Nessie wasn't alive again, was she? My heart sank back into its pit of torment. A dream, well that's fucking great. I preferred having a vampire freak as a fiancée than a dead and non-existent one. I pushed Bella's hand away, moving back towards the bed.

"I dreamt she was here, alive. Like you, but alive. Her eyes were red, she tried to kill me. How can I live without her Bells? I love her, I loved her." I corrected myself quickly before my voice trailed off. Bella glided over to my side, unsure what to do. Typical of her, she was still in there somewhere beneath the freaky vampire exterior.

"If I could cry, I would be. Renesmee's my daughter Jake, don't forget that. She died giving birth to your child, something I can understand. You know that." I did know that, but it didn't make it any easier, she still had her husband and I had no-one. Bella turned away from me, running her hands through her hair, before looking back to me.

"She is at peace Jake, let her be. No-one can hurt her now, and that's a comfort in itself. She left you a son, be grateful for that ... Um ... you wanna meet him?" She pursed her lips together, preparing for any one of my crazy overreactions. I had almost forgotten about him. But there was nothing without Ness, nothing. A kid was not going to change that, even if he is mine.

"I ... I don't know if I can Bella. She just died. She was pregnant for a month and now she's dead. I gotta get my head around this. I mean, we didn't even know she was pregnant. It's all so quick." I knocked the bowl of water sending it flying with exasperation. We ignored it.

"It was a condition that some women get. You get pregnant, but it doesn't show. It's a real condition, I don't know details Jake, but Carlisle does. He can explain it to you better than I can. Ruan seems to be healthy, he's very sweet." She turned her head away as I stood and began pacing around the room.

"Ruan? You named him?" It sounded fitting, like ruin. He had ruined everything after all. Ruan Black, I mused over that for like a second.

"No, _we_ didn't. Ness did, she got to see him for a moment before ...Well, she said it jokingly, like when you named her Nessie 'cus you thought she was a monster." She giggled but with no emotion in her laugh. "It might help ease the pain if you see him. There is so much of her in him. He is growing faster than she did though, you don't want to miss a second."

"Is he ..." I didn't even manage to finish before she continued.

"We don't know. But he bites ... lots! And he likes to growl if he doesn't get his own way. Come with me Jake, help your heart heal." She held out her hand to me as she edged towards the door. Nothing could heal my heart now. I just feel empty. I was meant to be with Nessie, so surely I am meant to be dead now too? Yeah, fine I'll see him once; then I can die too. I followed her out the room, down the corridor and stairs and back into the living room. I instantly was drawn to the sofa, searching for her. But she was gone.

"Carlisle has her."Bella reassured me. "She needs ... some work done to her body before we can bury her." She meant sorting the bloody mess that had once been Nessie's body. My heart burst at those words. Bella squeezed my hand, taking me forwards towards the kitchen. I heard growling followed by a scream of delight from the kitchen. Bella stopped, allowing me to go in on my own. There he was. My toddler sized son. He dropped his bottle of ... milk? Staring up at me, he gargled,

"Dad dada! Abbbrrr rr ya ba!" He began clapping his hands together, clearly delighted with himself for something. His chubby, rosy cheeks bouncing gently as he giggled. His hair shone in the light, catching my attention. It's as dark as mine. His pale skin stood out against the black of his enormous eyes. His eyes were just black circles, no pupils. Kinda freaky to be honest. His little body was chubby with perfectly smooth skin, the perfect baby in anyone's eyes. His eyes darted to me and then to his bottle that had rolled by my feet, and back to me again. I bent down, picking up the bottle and moving over to him. There were hundreds of bite marks on the bottle that had been left by very small teeth. He let out an '_eh'_ sound, unsure by my advance towards him. Sitting down parallel to him I could see Nessie. His nose was hers, the shape of his eyes, the blush in his cheeks and the paleness of his skin. Though, he was not quite as white as Ness, there's a hint of Quileute in him. His hair was me, the growling was me! He had my hands, my feet and probably one day my muscles too. As I watched him throw around the bottle, part of me healed. Nessie was here in him, and as long as I had him, I would have her too. Maybe, I could live without her. I shuddered as those thoughts flew in and right out of my head again. It's supposed to be like death if you the one you imprint on is taken, but then ... I guess they never mentioned what happens if you have a kid in their place.

"Mum is gone, but you are here and don't worry, I love you Daddy." I snapped out of my trance when I heard those words. Ruan was staring at me, his eyes almost gold now.

"What did you say?" He could talk now? That really was quick development. I swivelled around as Bella entered the room.

"He didn't say anything out loud Jake, he said it in your head. It's his ... gift. His eyes change colour when he's talking telepathically." She smiled at him as he giggled again, returning her sign of affection. "He can't talk properly yet, but he can when he sends you a message. I guess it comes from your wolf telepathy, but he can do it without phasing." My son, the gifted vampire freak. Great. I pulled myself to my feet, resting my weight against the counter.

"So, he's more leech than anything else then if he has powers." I know I sounded sulky, but hey, I didn't like bloodsuckers at the best of times, let alone having a kid be one of them too. He blew me a disapproving bubble from his lips before turning his attention back to his bottle.

"Well, he's warm, has a heartbeat and blood runs through him, so we recon he's part human too. Dunno Jake, I guess he can't be part of both of you, it wouldn't work." In that moment, as I subconsciously kicked the bottle out of the room when it landed by my foot, there was an almighty growl. Bella froze, patting me on the shoulder and pointing at Ruan. I slowly turned to look at my son, but standing tall in his place was a snow white wolf cub, with a single black stripe from his nose to the end of his tail. He was awesome, strong looking and not far off my size when I phased.

"Fuck ... Me." I said, surprising myself. I laughed, loudly and deeply for the first time in a while.

"I am part of you after all." The voice rang out in my head as the white wolf yawned, sitting down on his hind legs. I could see he was grinning.

"I don't think Carlisle is going to like this." Bella whispered into my ear, still focused on the newest member of the wolf pack.

"He will have a field day working out the genetics of this." _That's my son_! A wolf. A powerful, strong and magnificent wolf. Things might just be looking up.

_Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I have decided to end the story here, it's been a looooong time since I've even looked at it in truth, and it seems a pretty happy place to leave them to carry on with life ! Thank you all so much for reading; hopefully you will have a look at some of my other writings in the future. xx_


	11. AN  the end is nigh!

_Authors note to the readers of this story!_

_Dear lovely readers,_

_Just a quick note to let you all know that I have decided to end the story on the last chapter – it seemed a pretty good place to end as I have lost all track of it if I'm totally honest! I figure, why not leave them with a pretty happy ending and with the prospect of things looking up for everyone? _

_Thank you all so much for reading, and I do hope that you may be interested in some of my other Twilight stories. This was my first experience of fan fiction, so thank you all for being so nice! Take care, enjoy reading, love writing! x_


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